Stage Zero: The un-fun stuff
Stage Zero is the start of the build - the walk-around where you make sure you're not going to break anything due to negligence before going ahead with mods. It's pointless chasing after horsepower with mods if you haven't performed a tune-up or other routine maintenance.
My particular car had come in pretty damn fine condition; it was obviously used by older folks with a few extra bucks in their pockets, and thus was gently used and well maintained. I'm only the third owner on my particular example and the second owner barely used it at all, so I may as well have bought it straight from the Little Old Lady From Pasadena, though I shouldn't say that too loudly considering I found a Teamster pin in the tray cleaning it out. 3 body trunk, eh? *Gulp*...
Anyway, as you might imagine, with these cars only getting older (the newest would be 15 years old now), this is what you'd want to start out with. Certainly not the Gen I equipped TBI cars producing a mere 180hp that some were selling for 1.5x the price I paid, and in poorer condition to boot. Buyer beware; this car is a pretty desirable Ghetto/Trailer Park sled. Buy the car you want, not an endless 'project' just trying to update the car to a better factory spec, in my opinion. By not buying the one right down the block and waiting to pounce on a worthy example, I saved 500 bucks and gained 80hp without turning a wrench, not to mention the fact that this turkey was seriously dreaming; "the tranny's kinda going, but it's ok for now!" Yeah, sure bud, get right back to you on that.
As far as what the car DID need, the most glaring thing was a rear differential fluid change. The rear would chatter a bit making tight turns, especially after highway runs. This might have been why the previous owner was so 'motivated' to sell; he probably thought it needed a rear, but I'd already done my homework and knew that the fluid on a G80/Posi rear needs to be changed more often than an open diff would, and needs LSD additive to work properly. You also DON'T want synthetic fluid back here with the viscous-type limited slip unit; that's fine as it's even cheaper this way. This was very straightforward maintenance, if you don't could the stink gear oil produces. The rear is now quiet and the limited slip works like the factory intended.
The engine oil was ok but as I had a few bucks saved from not buying a turd to attempt polishing with, I decided to go with Mobil One 5w30 to extract extra efficiency and power, and clean up whatever accumulated sludge had built up in the last 17 years of operation. Before doing that, though, I decided to go with a Sea Foam treatment.
The Sea Foam additive/treatment is pretty well known in the many internet forums I've haunted and posted in over the years and is a fairly known quantity. I put some in the tank to clean the injectors, a litte in the oil, and the rest went into the intake elbow by loosening the hockey puck. You have to keep the opening just open enough to introduce the liquid; it'll stall if you just pry it open, though now I think you could do this really quite easily by removing the puck (or Home Plate if you haven't removed it yet) and unplugging the MAF, which causes it to run in Speed Density mode. The difference between the MAF signal and what the manifold pressure sensor sees is what I believe causes the stall. The LT1 can be run in either mode safely, as the early LT1s in F and Y bodies were Speed Density and the Mass Air sensor was apparently piggy backed onto this existing system. GM's bean counting sometimes works out in your favor instead of causing that rattle that you swear you'll be babbling about when they finally commit you...
The Sea Foam treatment can, in a motor with heavy deposits, cause so much temporary smoking that some users have had the fire department called while they were blowing all of the crap in their motor out the tailpipe. I've experienced this to varying degrees and was (pleasantly) surprised that the treatment produced almost no smoke. The plugs are a royal pain in the ass to change from what I've heard; since the factory change interval for them is pretty generous (I think 80k miles or so) and this vehicle was well maintained, and I'm seeing proper mileage, I've simply left them alone for now.
I'm still trying to figure out a doable long tube header solution that'll work with a roadside inspection; I'd simply return the factory manifolds and downpipes for inspection, as screwing with anything between the exhaust port and the cat in California requires CARB approval. There aren't any long tube headers that have a CARB EO#, and the shorties that do have been written off as more money than they're worth even by the Impala SS crowd that doesn't shy away from spending money on their ride. If my mileage stays the same, I'm holding out until I've come to a solution (or registered the car in a less draconian district) for the headers to change the plugs.
Pep Boys occasionally runs specials on Mobil One and other synthetics as 'oil change specials' with 5 quarts of oil and a Mobil One filter for ~$35. This is a pretty kick ass deal as it's cheaper than just the oil and let's face it, when you're peeling off nearly 50 bucks for an oil change, you're probably going to go with a cheap ass oil filter as a result on a budget build like this. I've managed to get both of the oil changes I've done so far with these specials.
The Mobil One formula is likely not the best synthetic on the shelf, but it's a known quantity and in case I ever find myself needing to top the motor up on the road - though I haven't needed to yet, as the LT1 simply refuses to burn more than about 1/3 a quart of oil through the 5k miles I ran the first oil change (mostly highway, to New Orleans from Los Angeles and back). While some folks are of the mind that LT1s were neither cheap enough to beat the SBC and not high tech enough to run with the LSX motors, I say they're quite a significant evolution of the Gen I motor. The wear on these motors - or lack thereof, rather - is simply amazing. Can't say that Gen I small blocks are known for being completely leakproof and burn almost zero oil over 5k miles of operation. For instance, I've read in Motor Trend and other magazines that the Porsche Boxster typically consumes a quart of oil between changes. GM engineers might have the Accounting Department Millstone hanging around their necks, but they still ain't no slouches.
I mostly had an easy time getting the car up to snuff; aside from the above, the transmission fluid was passable, other fluids were fine, the car hasn't had a problem with overheating at all so the stock thermostat is holding up well. I had 1.5 windows that rolled down, both in the back, now I'm up to 2.5. The B-Bodies where notorious for having window track clip problems and I've replaced them on the passenger side door, and will do the rear driver's side next. I have to figure out what's wrong with the driver's side window as it's currently doing nothing but clicking when I try to roll it down.
The car even came with 225-75-R15 tires that were damn near new. These are even a bit taller than the stock balonies and likely aren't helping my lateral grip or transitional grip, but have gotten me from point A to B flawlessly. Some better compound, lower profile tires are on the way. The shocks were all in good working order; really no complaints about any of the usual suspects when you're dealing with a 1000 dollar used car.
Anyway, this is about as 'exciting' as Stage Zero gets. It's so exciting, I don't really have any pics for you - google 'Roadmaster LT1 under hood', since you should still have a stock engine at this point. Although the Mobil One oil change usually does produce some extra power, this is all about laying the foundation for the mods to come. And the user consensus online is that you really don't feel the difference until the second oil change, as the pure base oils in the synthetic formulas get almost immediately contaminated by the sludge remaining in the engine after the previous oil was drained out. This is a good thing, though, because even in dirty-as-hell diesel engines like the OM617 in the classic diesel Benzes, using synthetic oils will leave the interior of your engine freer of deposits than Mr. Clean's polished noggin.
Next, we get to have some real fun, in Part Five: All The Mods Fifty Bucks Can Buy.
Ok...I couldn't leave you hanging without a picture. I just found out that the Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien preferred armored Buick Roadmasters during his time in office. Okay, I found out that via the Buick Roadmaster Wikipedia page, but only because I was checking to make sure my edits made it in...anyway, here's a sneak peek at a slightly more prestigious 94 Roadie than mine...
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