"So of course CID has a brand new toy and thinks it's the bestest thing since slice bread. Wait till he has to deal with the reality, he'll be pining for that Honda soon enough. Retard...don't you know lightest car wins, because Chapman?"
Actually, the Buick has soldiered on for nearly a year. So far, it's required two oil changes, new rear end fluid, gasket, and LSD additive (not that kind of LSD additive, or else it wouldn't have gone into the rear axle housing, I can tell you that). The car still gets 25mpg at 65 and 23.5-24 at speeds over 70. Given the long life of the spark plugs in this configuration, and that the mileage is up to par, I haven't even checked the plugs on this thing yet. I'm sure the Sea Foam treatment cleaned whatever deposits it might have had off.
In any case, so far, so good. The Buick had a few problems typical of a 1000 dollar car, but in most regards I made out like a bandit. The car even has a built in code reader in the climate control unit if you know how to access it, but there haven't been any persistent SES lights to use it on.
The B Bodies were GM doing what it knew best in a market that demanded a high level of initial quality. As a GM enthusiast I can tell you these bodies built in Arlington, Texas, are the equal of anything GM ever put out up until this point. It's a damn shame the line was converted to truck duty, but that's a longstanding gripe I'll avoid getting into here.
But these cars were GM's answer to the need for a family sedan that would last a lifetime if need be. And the service life of the cars are as good as any modern offering - 300k miles and more. So don't let the 'only Japanese and German cars are worth having because they're the only ones capable of any decent quality standard' crowd dissuade you from these cars merely because they come from a Detroit design house. While they might not be the most sophisticated things in the world, sturdiness is apparent throughout.
The car has so far gone to New Orleans - home to some of the worst roads anywhere - and back, completely loaded to the gills on the way there, and overloaded to the gills on the way back with an extra passenger and his gear. 23mpg average while not sparing the foot on occasion for passing. Sweet.
So where now?
I've already modified the car a little. My budget was pretty much almost nothing, then absolutely nothing, and soon I'll put in just a little. Still, the returns have been great, and the scuttlebutt on the net about these being Fox Mustang level mod platforms don't seem to be all hot air after all.
So far, for a piddling 40 bucks or so, I've done the famed Home Plate, First Base, and Muffler Delete mods, ported the airbox, added a Spectre air filter that has proven to be equal to the K&N stuff if not better, and added the front body mounts (or rather, free wooden approximations; while hack, it's entirely safe, reversible, effective, and again, FREE!).
The basic premise here is to take the car and keep what's good about it, and shore up where the factory phoned it in. Proper tires (either wide meats for the stock wheels or Impala SS items) and aftermarket lower control arms will make the car dance. I'll take the car for smog with the current mods on it and see what I can get away with, but for now suspension, brakes, and grip are on the list. The car is already quick (faster than my Si while weighing a full ton more than it); I want it to be more of a 'complete' modern ride before I attempt to make it faster in a straight line.
That, however, won't be hard. Many good cams are available that will pass smog and were designed for these heavy cars to keep the torque band down low. I'm investigating smog legal headers; I'm also investigating registering the car somewhere with more lax smog laws. I'm wondering if long tube headers and high flow cats would pass a visual roadside inspection; by far, the stock exhaust manifolds and the tame, torquey, geriatric-friendly cam are the bottlenecks in the LT1.
That's the star of this show, by the way. The tuner friendly nature of this motor is a godsend - not much is necessary beyond some cheap software and a cable (and a functioning laptop, granted, but for once this caveat doesn't screw me, personally) keeps you from full access to the PCM. Not just the engine parameters, but adjusting the speedo for gear/tire changes, shift points and hardness, etc. Some manufacturers' ECUs are so tightly encrypted you're basically looking at Megasquirt or better. No big cash investment (even by my standards) or hacking necessary here; just plug and play.
Other than the water pump, block, and heads, everything on this motor is standard issue Small Block Chevy. Want an all forged 383 rotating assembly? Yours for less than the price of a used D16 shipped to your door. God Bless America.
Eventually I'll even jump the biggest chasm in the B Body's list of shortcomings - the lack of a manual transmission option. While the T56 is the obvious choice, it's not a direct drop in, it's very expensive, and I happen to have a proven 5 speed that's survived between countless SBC swaps in my garage as we speak. It's the W series from a Toyota Supra, and laugh if you want to, it'll eat your T5 World Class' lunch. Good for ~350lb-ft of torque, or only about 35lb ft off the spec of a T56. This is a great, easy shifting trans that will be a unique addition to this car, unlike the more muscle car like shifting of the beefy T56.
Basically I want a Camaro with four doors and a big ass trunk. I want to be able to run canyons in this car just like I did with my Si and 240D (the latter of which no one thought would be a good car for canyon runs, either). I want to have a modern American hot rod done to satisfy the discerning car guy, who's dated around on the other side of the pond (ponds?). I want it to turn and brake like a modern car - and indeed, the aging brake components are surprisingly capable, so I imagine good, fresh fluid (ATE Blue), fresh rotors and good pads (EBC or Hawk) would help things along just fine.
Turning is actually not that bad stock. The B Body designation may date in basic form to 1958 but has been slowly updated ever since, last significant changes occurring in 91. The most glaring obstacles are the damn tires - 225 75 15s are not CID Vicious friendly tires. I have to reign in my base desires. Either 275-60-15s or Impala SS wheels are in store to fix this. There's no seeing what the actual chassis is capable of until these damned baloneys are put out to pasture.
The other glaring piece of the handling puzzle so far are the lower control arms, which even when brand new can be flexed by hand. BMRs so far seem to be the best value for money, and will both work to fix wheel hop and handling woes caused by the flexing LCAs. The rear uppers are left stock according to common wisdom unless you're going for a drag-only setup. Fine by me - I'm a cheapskate.
That's probably the last/best thing about this car so far: I have negative money in this car. I've made money on owning it so far. My quarter panel was backed into, paid out by the insurance company to the tune of 1450 bucks, and I simply pushed the dent back out and used the money for living expenses. At most, I have -250 bucks into the car as it sits, counting every quart of oil and all that. Not bad. I have to spend money on this thing to break even on it! I figure once I have the cash to pony up for the SS wheels I'll have maybe 200 bucks into the car, 350 with LCAs. Damn. Really wish I'd bought something more Jalopnik approved now.
What I'll have in the end is kind of a Poor Man's Caddy CTS-V. American lux on the outside, muscle/sports car on the inside. Simple motor mods, the stick transplant (which might end up being a T56 anyway), some gears, make it turn and stop. Do it without breaking the bank. Keep the basic goodness of the platform - the simple usefulness of the car. I don't have to chase phantoms and people with more money than sense, I just have to build a car I like and can use. I don't have to chase Vettes in this thing, or be edged out of taking the podium at an autocross by an AWD Porsche at a Vette meet or anything. But if I wanted to, and wanted to use this car to do it, I certainly can:
Next up, discussing Stage Zero (the un-fun maintenance issues) and Stage Point Five, (free/cheap mods!) Stage One will be wheels and LCA install.
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