Project Beer Budget Benz: Introduction to the W123 Mercedes

Likely you've seen a few W123 Mercedes in your life. They're the 76-85 E class chassis, with 280E, 240D, and 300D variants being common in the US. If you live in Los Angeles, you could possibly toss an object in a random direction on a street full of parked cars and hit one blindfolded. They've become this generation's VW Beetle, the little German car that seemed to deliver a lot for the asking price of a used example.

The old VW is officially a Classic Car now. And by 'Classic Car' I mean that they're not exactly being used as they once were as daily driven, everyday cars. Values have crept up, supplies of chassis going for cheap have gone down, though "they made millions". Magazines like VW Trends and Hot VWs wrote about the impending crunch 10 years ago, and nowadays the VW is no longer a common beater on LA's highways, though I see more and more restorations, light customs and cars that were babied and in either original build, or were a well cared for earlier restoration. I see a few really grossly rusted examples being beaten on. One reason is the 'eh' gas mileage compared to modern vehicles. Civics and the like 10 years ago, even the non-sporty variants, were still commanding fairly high prices, now the 'good ones' are cheaper than a comparable aircooled VW, are faster, handle better, are better made, and don't smell like oil and gasoline. Then you have the need of adjusting the valves every oil change, which sometimes is glossed over by owners who wonder why the car starts running crappy and 'needs a rebuild' a year after they bought it in such good condition.

I've owned 2 old VWs, a lowered, primer black 1972 Super Beetle with Autostick, and a 1966 Squareback that was...lowered, primer black, but this one packed a 1776, dual Dellortos and a proper four speed. Both were cool cars that tickled me with their seeming hybrid of really old car chassis with a motorcycle-ish motor. As a matter of fact, my first brush with these cars was not as a 'car' at all, but my Dad's old VW/Honda trike. I always loved the boxer four exhaust note, especially coming out of buggy-style zoom pipes!

However, my brush with the 66 Squareback was my last for a long time to come - they're simply not all that competitive with more modern cars as daily use vehicles any more, and custom ones are prone to getting stolen. The Squareback, I thought, could accomodate my needs - hard to stuff a half stack into a Beetle's trunk or back seat - but if you can't get it done with a Squareback, the air cooled cars simply won't work for you, and they don't for me. Not as my one-and-only car.

I know. I so wanted it to work, too. 

"The People's Benz"

The W123 Benzes are comparably modern, quite safe, and offer better power, higher efficiency, ridiculously better build quality, and frankly are a world apart in 'car-ness', yet still score high points on 'old-car-ness', and in many of the same uniquely German ways that the VWs do. 

They're real cars for people who have lives. They're hard to break into or steal, especially the trunk, which is 14 cubic feet - you have to drive a pretty big car to get a bigger trunk than that. Seats four people effortlessly. None of the parts are hard to get or particularly expensive, unlike most other Benzes  from other epochs. This chassis, and particularly the 240D, are Benz's best selling cars in the US - they're everywhere, and like the VWs they 'sold millions'. It was so popular that the W124 replacement had to sit across the showroom floor from the W123 for a few years, as people simply still wanted this car, even over the 'better' new one.

If you live in LA especially, Colorado, the Northeast, anywhere where there was a moneyed class to buy these cars - more expensive than a Corvette in it's day - then they're around to be had, and so are parts in yards. Places where the car was relatively rare isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but you will have a harder time simply going down to the Pick Your Part and grabbing what you need for almost nothing. In LA, there aren't a lot of cheaper cars to run in that regard. There's ALWAYS a few W123s in there, mostly diesels, pretty much never manual transmissions though. 

The 280E, packing the 'mean' M110 DOHC inline six, was the fast one. However, they drink like old V8 cars, are expensive to acquire and don't age as gracefully as the diesels. 

The diesels are the real deal here - tractable if not powerful, reliable to a fault and very efficient, even by today's standards. Now we have something interesting - a solid, bank-vault style Mercedes sedan with room for four, generous front seats that could possibly accommodate NBA players with their leg and head room, well aging paint and interiors and while they have a host of problems like any old car, most are small and won't leave you stranded by the side of the road.

The Sedans might get the 'I don't want a four door!' ire up, but are cheap and easy to find, practical, have the most available, cheapest, and easy to find parts. Plus, admit it, that's a good looking four door.
And this is US spec, not with the Euro lights or bumpers.
Condition aside, this is waiting on Craigslist for you right now.

The 240D

The 240D is the mileage and longevity champ. Expect 20s in town, 30s on the highway, and the car to keep going and going. The 240D W123 was at one time the world record holder for verified mileage on a car - 2.4 million miles. As a taxi. In Budapest. The chassis, it would seem safe to say, is solid.  Buy a rust free example, keep it that way, and don't worry about the fact that the odometer broke at 230k.

The OM616 is known to last up to 1 million - that's a one with six zeroes following it - miles with regular maintenance. Change the oil and filters regularly and adjust the valves every 1-2 years. Might need to roll in a timing chain at the 500k mile mark. Likely need an injection pump rebuild and injectors at some point, too, but point being, the engines, if in good running order, tend to stay that way.

The 240D is the only W123 to arrive stateside in US trim with a manual transmission. It's a not-exactly-slick-shifting four speed, but while it has no overdrive, the mileage is still what it is and I've done 90 in them on the highway, so while it would be nice, it's not a deal breaker as a daily driver.

 As a matter of fact, the 240D MT is, well, not a rocket on the highway by any means, but is certainly a cruise missile capable of walking right past sleepy folk in cars packing several times the 67-72hp on offer. The power to weight ratio isn't the story here, it's the torque, and how the engine delivers it. If you get a chance to drive a 240D manual with a freshly rebuilt injector pump and injectors and properly  adjusted valves, the car is surprisingly peppy and can give the 300D Turbo (see below) a run for it's money with a good driver. And it's loads more fun.

I'll let someone sum up here, I can't remember the quote but it was a commonly repeated one amongst those who have experienced this car: "If you can find a decent condition 240D manual trans for a price you're willing to pay, buy it. You won't regret it."

The 240D 'autotragic' is one of the slowest cars ever made, and usually gets praise as a first car for the teenager, as there's little they can do to get in trouble with it aside from being a slowly moving chicane rolling down the road. Most people find it simply too slow, though they're easy to find for cheap because it's kind of the one no one wants. If you get a cheap manual trans car with a burnt motor or just crap body, you could swap the transmissions, shifters, and pedals over pretty easily to a nice condition 240D auto with a good motor that was cheap simply because almost no one wants them. Something to consider for the intrepid.

The Coupes are really great looking cars - and hardtops to boot! All US Coupes were 300CDs or 280CEs. 

The 300D

The 300D comes in two variants - slightly less slow than the 240D auto, aka the '300D Diesel', and the 'now we're getting somewhere' 300D Turbodiesel. If it doesn't say turbodiesel on the lid, and it's not mentioned in the ad that it's a turbo, move on. The 300D non-turbo is again easy to acquire because it's 'not one of the good ones' and actually you can easily bolt the turbo and manifolds, oil lines, etc right on  from a donor Turbo.

But why bother when you can almost always find a 300D Turbo for similar money? If you're going with an automatic transmission, and want your W123 to get up and go like a modern-ish car, the Turbo is the one.

The NA OM617 Five cylinder, 3.0 liters of it as the 300D indicates, back when that meant something, is about as reliable as it's smaller 616 cousin. The Turbo is 'only' going to be good for about 500-600k miles, but that's about 40-50 years of average American driving. The OM617a, the Turbo variant, is one of the great overbuilt engines of all time and is hardly anything to lose sleep over. The turbochargers themselves are common T3 and K26 turbos, easy and cheap to acquire used or to rebuild.

The 300D is also available in a wagon called the 300TD, and is noted for it's coolness, higher price to buy, many parts exclusive to the wagon, including the engine, and the dreaded repair costs of the SLS rear leveling system. Not for the faint of heart, and I heartily suggest owning a sedan before you get into the more troublesome wagon. They're great when they're in working order, though, and if you put the money into any W123 restoring it and expect a return, it had better be a Coupe or Wagon. Sedans are simply too dime a dozen. However, as folks looking for a screamin' deal, that's great for our purposes.

A typical, US spec, Craigslist condition wagon. Not the cheapest route, but cool, useful, and
most likely to bring a return on any restoration work done.

Turbo Possibilities

The OM617a, the Turbo motor, can be turned into quite a beast - for the price. The Finnish company Myna will take your pump and make it capable of delivering enough fuel for 450hp or so, for about 2500 bucks. Add a big honkin' snail to that, and, well, I don't know, because few folks on this side of the pond have seen these engines in three dimensional form, and while I'd like to believe the Benz powertrain capable of handling 700lb-ft, how long they hold together at such outputs is a big question mark, as most of the Finns who have these cars race them and don't share a lot of specifics, though they' really nice in the forums to talk to. I'm sure a 250hp engine with much more torque would be relatively easy to build, streetable and reliable with the Myna upgrade, but I'm simply not able to spend the dough and find out.

The stock pump is good for about 145hp, ~200lb ft. Add a Variable Vane Turbo (VVT or VGT) from a late model diesel, follow Forced Induction's vacuum control setup for the vane control, and you - apparently, I haven't driven one - get the same or better mileage, more torque earlier, and the impression of driving a big six or a small V8. Not bad for a car that'll top 20mpg city, though the highway figure is usually roughly comparable to a Chevy B-Body or non-CVPI Crown Victoria.

Yes, that's a supercharger AND a turbo. Supposedly this is a pic of the original 617a in the
world's fastest W123 diesel. Later the OM606 went in with twin turbos. Crazy Finns!

The Suspension

The W123 has an excellent stock suspension that was well adapted to rally use, and uses the classic European formula of A-Arms up front, IRS in back (in this case semi trailing arms), long travel, soft springs and hard dampers. The original equipment shocks are Bilsteins, though good luck finding a good working set under your Craigslist find. Most have Monroe or NAPA cheapo shocks.

There are non-vented discs at all four corners with fixed single piston calipers. It was a long time before most cars would see brakes like this. S class rotors and calipers can be swapped in easily for even greater abuse potential, and due to Mercedes' almost 'Chevy like' parts interchangeability, you can swap later, bigger brakes in too, though they require larger wheels.

The car has lots of ground clearance in a stock configuration, handles ok but 'safely', kind of like a Volvo does - nothing scary, nothing all that entertaining though. Tis no BMW, but to be fair the BMW owners often wish for the reliability of the Three Pointed Star.

The car's shining moment came during the 1977 London to Sydney Rally, then the longest auto race in the world and quite the story. The Mercedes 280E not only finished the rally, but finished first and second, and 4 of the top 10 finishers were driving Mercedes 280Es. While they were rally prepped with lights, heavy duty bumpers, a skid plate, and other safety equipment, the cars weren't far from European spec 280E five speeds. I was told a story about how the other drivers were fuming at the ease with which the Mercedes drivers dominated - they were often seen driving one handed, sipping coffee, and looking utterly relaxed by drivers white knuckling it in what one would consider a traditional rally mode.

If the car didn't scream 'excitement' before, I'll bet it does now!

To demonstrate, here's a video of I believe the user 'Kamel' from www.superturbodiesel.com, jumping his 78 300D in the desert. The car is cool for an auto non turbo 'beater' with some 'eh' mods at the time the video was shot.

I've even taken my personal 240D out on terrain like that lowered, which we'll get to next. Suffice to say, the cars have a lot of potential for everything from a 'Baja' style build, to Rally, to Rat Rod, to Canyon Carver, to [blank], yet still can be useful as a 'real car'. Not bad.

Hot Rodding The W123

The W123 era Mercedes has a lot going for it. Most people never see one 'done up' and thus think it's got no potential as a hotted-up ride, that it's going to be boring and a 'grandpa car'. (I think we've heard this line of thought before!) Not to mention, if you never thought you could afford a Mercedes - or really like one - this car gives you an opportunity to own something that's been good enough for some of the richest, pickiest people the world over.

The build quality is great, the old-car details are all there, and the fit and quality is far beyond the typical old American car, and while old Japanese cars tend to have been well built they're also exceedingly cheap in feel. There's no 'crashing metal' sounds upon closing the door, nor a hollow 'tin can' sound, just a vault door closing.

You couldn't ask for better chrome or polished stainless. The engine is awash in cast aluminum parts waiting to be polished, looks like an old motor, and while the side-shift tranny was kind of a relic even in the 70's, it's also a rarely tasted flavor unless you have friends that let you drive their valuable restored old cars, which I'm kind of short on. There's just a lot of really cool 'old car vibe' here, and honestly it reminds of an American style car from an alternate universe.

The paint, whether Spies and Hecker or some other German formulation, is much higher quality than most cars from the era, and in the American Southwest can easily be found in a condition of oxidation that will lower the price and vanish in an afternoon with the buffing wheel. Even my maroon example, shown below, which was left in a field for years and was so oxidized (with fade through and surface rust on the hood and fenders) that I thought it was a Brown car for the first few weeks, polished out. It was a 700 dollar purchase, and I didn't really have to put more than oil, filters, a pair of axles and fuel in it to drive it - hard - for two years, only to more than double my initial investment upon selling it.

Practically Free Lowering

The excellent suspension travel and spring design - only one end of the springs are pigtailed - allow for fairly pain-free lowering.

You MUST use a quality, disc style spring compressor to remove Mercedes springs. Few cars have springs this large and to compress 14 coils to the point of coil bind with cheapo 'hook' style compressors commonly found at the local parts store borders on suicidal.

This is one of the few cars I've ever seen that can legitimately get away with cutting coils (from the non-pigtailed end only) to lower the car.

This is not a theory - I've owned three W123 Mercedes examples lowered using this method, and one was routinely run up Bouquet Canyon, so they weren't just boulevard cruisers, though the 300D was great at that. I didn't do anything but ask some questions at forums online and follow what probably thousands of folks have done to these cars over the years. The drop and lower profile tires simply make the car.

Crappy cell phone pic of the 300D. "Hot Wheels" chrome 15s and a -2 front, -2 rear drop. I personally think the rear
should have only been dropped -1.5, but the results speak for themselves.
Very pleasant, easy to drive, and looks great. 

Speaking of which, if you're not doing this to a 240D/MT, or plan on swapping that car's stick into a 300D Turbo, I'd advise against going 'gonzo' on the suspension. The rear suspension cannot be adjusted to relieve camber gain, so you will eat rear tires faster, and with a 300D turbo in stock ish condition or any other auto car for that matter, you'll likely not be able to take advantage of going nuts with the car. You can easily make the car look great without having to turn it into a pain in the ass 'low rider' that you'll not want to drive daily anymore. And believe me, these cars with low profile tires on stock wheels and a mild drop will get you plenty of compliments, even in a town overflowing with AMGs like LA.

If you take a coil off the front to begin with, and leave the rear alone, you'll likely get rid of the 'motorboat/2WD Offroader' stance, will hardly notice any change in alignment, and can still run stock sized tires. If you can borrow the spring compressor, already own a 4" grinder and the tools needed for the job, you can get a better stance on these cars for around 4 bucks and afternoon's work.

I would suggest for mild drops, 3/4 of a coil is best to start with at the rear. 1 coil isn't bad but is getting more radical, and 1.5 is absolutely as far as I'd go, and only if you're going full monty on the front springs.

If you lower the back, 2 coils are the max for cars you still want to drive as though they're an everyday car, and will require 60 series tires (XXX/60/14s) or they will rub, and by rub might bend your fender lips outward and crack the paint. I'd suggest rolling the lips anyway for anyone considering lowering these cars. 'Rolling' can actually fairly easily be accomplished by a medium sized rubber mallet, just make passes down the arch and bend the metal a bit at a time instead of doing it all the way 3 inches at a time.

My personal 240D, "Donkey" the Mule, in almost as completed form. Killer stance, easy to drive on real roads, and
a real kick on a mountain road. I'd regret selling this car if not for the Roadmaster which came afterward. 

For going for the gusto, the solution is thus: before you turn a wrench, go buy some 195-60-14s for the stock wheels (205-60-14s are also available but uncommon), and then remove 3 coils in front and 1-1.5 in the back. Align the car, though with a good alignment to begin with it'll still track fine and won't have a ton of excess camber. Now go drive the thing like you mean it.

Seriously, the 240D/MT with the above mods is a four-door Miata - slow, but if you pick your line and drive the car like it's supposed to be driven, you get smiles for hours. I've gotten sideways in a 240D setup only halfway like this, -3 front, -1 back, 60 series on front and stocks in back. That was my first setup and I still kinda wish I'd kept that car.

If you have to buy the Baum compressor new (~200 bucks), the grinder, the ball joint splitter, the rubber mallet, you still won't approach the cost of aftermarket springs available for this chassis, and you'll still need the above tools minus the grinder. It's practically free, works wonders on the looks, feel, and performance of the car, and it's also our latest project writeup: Project Beer Budget Benz. I'll show you a few variations on the theme - I've owned two 240D/MTs and one 300D Turbo - and introduce you to the coolest overlooked old car you never considered for a project.

This is the latest 'build', a truly Rat Rod style project that rehabbed a poor 240D/MT that
suffered at the hands of some wannabe lowrider builders.
Car had tons of vibe and cost almost nothing. -3 front, -1.5 rear

Beer Budget BMW Beating Benz

I see a lot of people talking about eco-rodding, and the Hot Rod/Car Craft crowd is always talking about driving your old cars everyday. I've even seen some rat rods running Cummins, Isuzu, and GM diesel engines, and they're really cool. Here, we get to do it all at once, and we get to do it without owning a shop to work out of or having to be some wannabe version of Chip Foose. All of the mods I'm showing you can be done in a driveway, even on an LA street, and I know, because that's where I did it.

Most people who think 'German performance sedan' immediately think BMW, and I'm frankly tired of hearing about the Bavarians. They're great cars but they've become boring and I'm tired of everyone thinking that 'only a Beemer will do'. These cars lowered, with the manual, are neither 'the same' as a BMW nor 'nowhere near'. Simply a different flavor.

I'll show you how you can own your first Benz, maybe your first Diesel, build a cool, attention getting (or not, they make great sleepers too), truly economical daily driver that:

- drives and brakes like a modern car
- gets better mileage than some modern cars to this day, and
- still have the joy and vibe of an old car.

One, I might add, that's a pleasure to work on, and designed to be easily maintained by a non-technician.

In 2012, for the folks who like the panache of old cars, like driving like a madman on occasion, like reliability and MPGs, and want to build a car - maybe for the first time - but think they can't afford to, or that it'll be impractical to get a car they'd both like to drive and be seen in, there's nothing like it, and it's one of the best buys going in the current market. If my poor broke ass can have 3, someone who has a better budget to work with can certainly pull it off. And my investment in these cars beyond a bit of suspension work was practically nil, so if you really have some money for a project car, imagine what you can do.

Oh, and I didn't even mention the W123's possibilities for the truly speed addicted as a V8 swap candidate.

Ok, so the 'boring rod' didn't get your attention. Do I have it now? Thought so.

See you soon.

- CID Vicious

Project Buick Roadmaster Part 8: The End Result

Hi all,

Well, it's time to send off a car that was such a good conveyance, one wants to talk about it almost in terms of a friend.

Bought off of Craigslist for $1000, minor investments in getting the car roadworthy for a cross country trip to New Orleans - two grown men, a pit bull, two lives worth of crap stuffed into one car - and we got there, comfortably, in style, plenty of power to blow past a few V6 Mustang dorks despite the huge payload on board.

The car got impounded once in New Orleans, we had to work twice as hard to both survive and pay for daily expenses and put away money for the impound fee - we had to get to LA, as there wasn't enough time left in the season to establish ourselves in NOLA just yet.

Long story short, we got back, now bringing yet one more person and their stowage (don't ask) to LA.

We averaged 23.4 mpg between the two cities. Traveling at an average of 70mph, 4200lbs dry, 5.7l V8, 'dinosaur' technology and all that, laden with no less than 1000lbs of humans and dogs and belongings.

Do that in your CRX, sir.

And before someone says 'minivan', let me remind you that I got us one of the last parking spots within any kind of walking distance on Mardis Gras day proper, and probably wouldn't have gotten it if I couldn't have gotten the crowd of drunken dipshits to part near Frenchman St. Laying the horn didn't do it - but lighting up the rear tires and that accompanying police car engine growl sure did!

So yeah, nyahh to you, too, Mr. Minivan. Also, if I'm going to be mistaken for something I'm not, I'd rather be mistaken (most times) for a pimp rather than a henpecked dad.

Not happening in Camarobird or Mustang, either.

None of the cars besides the minivan can slip through traffic as a Q ship, either, at least in stock form.

Just sayin'.

ROAD-MASTER!

The car has an impressive pedigree, and the design, rather than being 'archaic' as some detractors would suggest, simply proved it's worth and ability by surviving four decades of automotive history, and time proved the design strong and tunable for handling as well. After all, the Chevy 9C1s went as fast as 138mph in stock trim - do you really think the car is such a pig that it can't handle those speeds? Trust me, ask a cop who has driven both. Ask someone who has RAN from a cop in both.

As 'dowdy' as the stock, high riding, baloney wearing stock setup was, it was more in line with the Police philosophy- being able to go over any surface, quickly, reliably. Real roads, not race tracks. And still could hit all 109mph or so of the factory limited top speed in a little over a quarter mile.

Buick itself has often had some of the most potent engines and sturdy, durable technology available - it is in a real way America's answer to Mercedes Benz for over 100 years, the reason we have Chevrolets (Louis Chevrolet was a Buick racer), and was a middle point between working class Chevys and opulent Cadillacs.

As a matter of fact, when people would recognize me as the owner, often I'd here 'oh, you're the guy who owns the Cadillac, right?'

Anyway, once back on LA soil I was backed into in the Whole Foods parking lot. Awhile later I was paid insurance on the damage, but being pragmatic and a body guy I just pushed the dent out and lived with the fact that I'd have bought the car with the damage for that money anyway.

I was also now in the interesting head space of 'you know, technically I have -$200 into this car right now. I've actually made money owning it, in a way.'

So I ended up going what, for me, was whole hog. I wanted it to look like the Impala SS cousin it was, I wanted to handle like it was the SS cousin that it was, and I wanted it to sound off like it had a pair. The car was so responsive to really cheap and easy mods that I'm surprised they can still be had at this kind of money.

My test grounds this time around weren't Bouquet Canyon Road, which has become a rather 'hot' route for one, and for two I was simply unable to afford the extra gas money and possibility of breaking down at the time. Still, Elizabeth Lake Road west of Palmdale is a good little route, one that I drove many times on the way to a friend's house. My standard of measurement on that route - when it gets twisty, if you can go double the posted limit, you have something. If it went through without wrestling and drama, you REALLY had something.

This 'boat' is really something.

Believe it or not, there are people who would be
'embarrassed' to drive this. I feel the same way
hanging around such folk...

The biggest foe in handling is the stock 'baloneys', grandpa spec tires. I'd imagine perhaps the Goodyear cop tires are better in this regard but you have lots of weight, an old school suspension and floppy sidewalls. Doesn't inspire confidence.

However, all of this is easy to correct with bolt on parts, and it's incorrect to assume that stock equipment hindrances indicate a lack of tunability in the overall platform. If that were the case then the Honda Civic would be an 'eh, pretty good' handling car but with upgraded wheels and rubber the chassis really starts to come to life. The factory equipment was often tailored to a commute-friendly conveyance, but had great underpinnings. Why would a Buick be different?

Thankfully the stock Impala SS items and huge amount of parts that fit this chassis and GM full size cars going back decades make it very easy to get good handling out of the Behemoth. The SS wheels are huge (17x8.5"), the tires available fit everything from Porsches, BMWs Vettes, etc - you can easily get tires in this size with good life left on them used, because enthusiasts with more money are upgrading.

German Tyres!

Once you've got fat meats under the this car, and lower the mass some, the character changes and now you're driving a real Impala SS clone, aka the 'Four Door Corvette'. The Hotchkis springs are really low; I think perhaps stock SS springs might be a better daily driver setup, but they handled and rode great, and my issues were mostly with my cockamamie exhaust mods hitting, which with some real money spent on the mufflers wouldn't be an issue.

In any case, now the car was ready to really throw down.

In addition to the Hotchkis springs, ContiSport 2 tires in 245-45-17 size, stock Impala SS wheels (made by ROH), I put Energy Suspension end links on the front, wooden spacer mod in lieu of buying body mounts (worked! Lasted, too! Free!), modded the exhaust to add both tone and power (tried both Muffler Delete and straight pipes (but with cats/stock exhaust), the one pretty liveable, the latter just barely tolerable, but a hoot.

The intake was re-modified during my smog test prep to a simple straight piece of sewer pipe. No fuss, no muss, no tape!

Pictured: Engineering

To give the car a little more driveability and panache in the interior I put in a Grant 737 faux wood grain wheel. The polished center's finish is ultra scratchable - might be worth clear coating. I mean, brand new microfiber cloths scratched it.

Also, if you use any real tools in the cabin after installing this wheel, be very careful, or you'll end up with an annoying chip in your wheel like I did.

The wheel did match the faux wood grain of the stock interior decently, did tighten up the controls a bit by being a smaller than stock diameter wheel, had a nice fat grip to it which was nice while driving, better than the stock wheel. I got one because it was 40 bucks off Craigslist. I don't know why, but it might be because if I'd have paid the 140 that was the suggested retail I'd have been more than disappointed - I'd have been livid.

I also added an Auto Meter tach that went in with one 10 cent screw in a stock screw hole in the trim around the gauge pod. It blocks the coolant guage, but hey, while I was at it, an Ultralite temp guage was going to go next to it. But then...

I actually think this sums up the car's 'smack dab between
modern and classic' vibe, myself.

I'd ignored a leaking problem at the axle, and the bearing seized and wore the axle down. I started looking up the parts, but had very little cash month to month to live off of. Still needed a car to get around and didn't have off street parking, so it had to be moved at least twice a week.

I started considering my options, and while I'd certainly lived a car guy's wet dream - doubly so for a guy sleeping in the same car he's wrenching on, natch - I realized I'd missed other opportunities and ignored other parts of what I consider 'my work' messing with this thing.

I also realized that, sky being the limit - this car could be built for drag, autocross, road race, what have you. Six speed? It's happened. Totally doable. Parts are there.

But there was the problem. I needed something that couldn't become such a pit. I've dreamed of an LS7 in...well...anything, really, but made me think if I'd gotten, say, 30k for some reason, would 18 go to what I consider the most Gonzo stock motor from Chevy in modern times? Could, and then it could get crashed, stolen, impounded after I'd frittered away the rest of the money like a real fool.

And, as I've often said, I doubt that in decades to come I'm necessarily going to be pleased with myself if it turns out I'd ignored my artistic pursuits in giving into my obsession with the automobile.

However, I do think it was good therapy, did wonders for my self esteem - "Dude, NICE car!" was an everyday occurrence. Woke up behind Gold's Gym many a time to see people checking out my car, going "what kind of car IS it? A Roadmaster? Oh...it's a...Buick? Really?"

Really.

I don't have to tell you there were some funny/weird looks when they saw a guy sleeping in it. Makes me laugh thinking of it. However, I saw some of those guys get in some high dollar hardware after checking out my ride. Not like they were driving boring beige crapmobiles and didn't know a good car when they saw one. And I'll bet they could afford the dough to recreate one.

At the end of the day, it was a wash - another fan of the breed and real SS owner, Matt, stepped in and bought the car for 1200 bucks as-is, which gave me enough money to buy our next subject, a 1980 Mercedes 240D, get it registered, cleaned up, and kept the ball in play, so to speak. Without having built this car to it's then current aesthetic standard (Matt's since taken it further, will talk about next post), I doubt I'd have sold the car in stock condition for the 700 bucks I bought the Benz for. And I needed all of it to really continue rolling, so I can consider it an investment in the end result.

If I hadn't been a fool with my money, I wouldn't have had any money to take care of practical business...ain't that a bitch?

Matt's intention was to daily drive the Roadie and keep from putting excess miles on his SS, which is working - he now says he likes the SS better, at least in the 'cool car' sense!

That's as good of a compliment as I can ask for. You heard it here - after all that 'it's an SS in a business suit' talk, it's confirmed by a guy who has a really nice example of the target car.

You know what to do.

The new owner has been doing this car up right.

Final thoughts? The 94-96 Buick Roadmaster is a great car in it's own right, in stock form. It also happens to have the ability to be be all things to all people. Need loads of storage? 20 cubic foot trunk. Got kids, lots of friends? Seats six. Got toys? Tows 5500lbs. Love American style? This car is classic American automotive panache for the working man - as only we can do it. Love American V8 power? LT1 powerplant is 260hp and 330lb-ft worth of Small Block Chevy lover's dream factory 350, with a great exhaust note. Want it to handle? Give it Impala SS spec bolt on parts and it does. Efficiency? 15city, 23 highway, 18 combined. You'd be surprised at how many vehicles that can't do much of the above get that mileage - or worse.

The car has a huge, outsized personality - big roar from the exhaust when pushed, a cool burble when cruising. Big, flashy, lots of chrome, stainless, and machined finishes on the ROH wheels, which really are a cut above the usual aftermarket stuff. It all goes together like it was factory designed to do so - because it was.

If you never thought you could love a full sized, automatic transmission equipped American 'luxo barge' because you're too much of a 'cool driver car guy', you might want to think again. Just don't build one of these if you don't want everyone in the neighborhood - every bum, every old lady, geek, yuppie, gang member, OG, car guy, cop, kid, etc to tell you that you have a nice ride.

Because they will.

There are some who might say 'that's all well and good, but I'll bet, say, a late model Mini S Turbo would take the overweight pig out.'

Thank you, sir, because what's a performance build without a kill story? 

Heading out on Elizabeth Lake Road, or more appropriately, where it changes to that name from Palmdale Blvd, I was pulled up to the light up in front. A silver Mini S pulls up into the lane next to me. He checks the car out, which isn't anything new to me, so when the light turned green, I took off like a normal human being going somewhere, not a hyperactive kid out to prove something on a boring Friday night in the Antelope Valley. 

The kid hears a little note from the pipes and just jumps on the gas. I look over and he's BRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMing by me, and I saw the S badge on the fender. 

"Good. I won't feel bad about this."

I hit the big chrome foot and all 5000 lbs of man, dog, car, and trunkload of crap take off like a bat out of hell. The 350 roars, a rarely heard but great sound. No worries, rolling start, nothing to hook up here, just pure power and gearing. Put the foot down and the 4L60E takes care of the rest. The Roadie's sole two specs that are off from those of the SS are no rear discs, and 2.93:1 gears instead of 3.08. The SS is a 15 second car in the quarter. The Mini S is right there, similar trap speed and elapsed time. 

Only, this LT1 has been breathed on just a bit. By my estimations enough mods have been done to facilitate roughly a 25hp increase over stock, to 285. 

This car should do low 15s or better with the mods I've done. Now, granted, it's not a Motor Trend style instrumented test, but it is a bogey. The Mini S is faster than most of it's four cylinder brethren. No worries about getting shown up by any average or better four banger in this big, bad Buick. 

I watched the guy try, hard, to keep up, but by the time we got to the bottleneck, his front bumper was barely ahead of my back bumper. He lifted (had to, I wasn't and another advantage of a fast but huge car - you don't get pushed around by much), and I looked down at the speedo. 108mph and I lifted, a whole mph away from hitting the factory limiter. 

Not bad - a sound drubbing even though frankly the race was already 'on' by the time I knew I was a member of it. 

Eat it, Chapman fans. And this car cost less to build than a ratted out, rattle canned, salvage title Civic or similar condition Miata. And while it's possible a Miata will get you laid, you're not getting laid in one. 

Admit it - you only got into little four bangers anyway because you thought you couldn't afford a car like this. Look back over my financial figures - this car was nothing if not cheap, even without the insurance windfall. 

Turns out the Big Three were putting out some good cars all along. They might certainly not be BMWs, but then, do they have to be? Do we all have the same tastes? Can you picture Billy Gibbons stepping out of a 328i? There's a certain thing about being American, and we get it best and do it best. This is an example of that, and the same DNA is in the Impala SS, a car I've seen enthusiasts import to Japan, import to Sweden and other places it was never sold - because they got nothin' like it. 

The Big Three had some gems. Maybe even they didn't know it - GM certainly bunted on what could have been the 90's equivalent of the GNX for Buick. But that's ok, that's why they're cheap and they get such a reaction - you're in on a secret. You don't have to buy a car made in America in the last ten years to get an American car that's solid, well built, reliable, decently economical, and a hoot to drive. 

As far as project cars go, this one was an unqualified success. As far as cars that I've built and owned go, this is my favorite. So far...

"Comin' to save the MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY, yeah!"

Curbside Car Porn: Whole Foods(tamp card) Edition

So I figured it was about time for another installment for the short attention span set. This time, I just tried out a little experiment; how many cars of note can I find in the Venice Whole Food(stamp Card) parking lot on a single visit? It absolutely didn't come out of a sheer lazy initiative to just get another one done... I thought it would illustrate the 'cartopia' that Los Angeles really is, I swear!

Which it should be, because living with the drivers of these fine examples is really for the birds...not these folks in particular, but chances are...

I actually saw this and remembered these rare coupes from
my brick fetish days. I'm almost certain I've never seen
one in person before today. It also reminded me:
'hey, don't I do a photo section in my auto blog?'

68 Conti Sucide Door Convertible - just so right...

Makes a handy pickup truck in this condition, too.
The owner was really nice. 

I was on my way to photograph the next car when this one
jumped out and said 'me first'.  Try to photograph a Ford and 

a Maserati gets in your way, that's just how it is...

There are so many of these things around here, it's ridiculous.
We literally have a dealership that basically only sells them,
in this condition, on Lincoln Blvd. 

All of the Maserati in the world isn't going to get you a
parking space here any quicker - I had to laugh,
this was probably the guy's fourth pass down a lane
looking for a spot - that I saw, at least.

Benzes like this one in this kind of condition are so common
here, I forget sometimes they're a rarer treat elsewhere. 

Love those classic Mercedes lines. 

V70R that I nearly waltzed right past. I almost wrote it off as a
'badge engineering' example until I saw the meats underneath.
Boring, if you think AWD and 245hp in a DL package
snooze worthy...

What's this? Well, the Maserati had finally found a spot; I had
a shot of 7 spots in a row that were filled with Bimmer, Bimmer,
Benz, Maserati, Bimmer, Benz, Bimmer all lined up; then a
security guard came over to shut my little photo session down.
Whole Paycheck doesn't like photos, so I thought I'd get one
of one of their funnier signs...No, sir, you'll be leaving my
'shrimp' quite alone, and I'd prefer if you didn't refer to it
as such...It's magnificent and frightens the womenfolk...