Project Beer Budget Benz: Introduction to the W123 Mercedes

Likely you've seen a few W123 Mercedes in your life. They're the 76-85 E class chassis, with 280E, 240D, and 300D variants being common in the US. If you live in Los Angeles, you could possibly toss an object in a random direction on a street full of parked cars and hit one blindfolded. They've become this generation's VW Beetle, the little German car that seemed to deliver a lot for the asking price of a used example.

The old VW is officially a Classic Car now. And by 'Classic Car' I mean that they're not exactly being used as they once were as daily driven, everyday cars. Values have crept up, supplies of chassis going for cheap have gone down, though "they made millions". Magazines like VW Trends and Hot VWs wrote about the impending crunch 10 years ago, and nowadays the VW is no longer a common beater on LA's highways, though I see more and more restorations, light customs and cars that were babied and in either original build, or were a well cared for earlier restoration. I see a few really grossly rusted examples being beaten on. One reason is the 'eh' gas mileage compared to modern vehicles. Civics and the like 10 years ago, even the non-sporty variants, were still commanding fairly high prices, now the 'good ones' are cheaper than a comparable aircooled VW, are faster, handle better, are better made, and don't smell like oil and gasoline. Then you have the need of adjusting the valves every oil change, which sometimes is glossed over by owners who wonder why the car starts running crappy and 'needs a rebuild' a year after they bought it in such good condition.

I've owned 2 old VWs, a lowered, primer black 1972 Super Beetle with Autostick, and a 1966 Squareback that was...lowered, primer black, but this one packed a 1776, dual Dellortos and a proper four speed. Both were cool cars that tickled me with their seeming hybrid of really old car chassis with a motorcycle-ish motor. As a matter of fact, my first brush with these cars was not as a 'car' at all, but my Dad's old VW/Honda trike. I always loved the boxer four exhaust note, especially coming out of buggy-style zoom pipes!

However, my brush with the 66 Squareback was my last for a long time to come - they're simply not all that competitive with more modern cars as daily use vehicles any more, and custom ones are prone to getting stolen. The Squareback, I thought, could accomodate my needs - hard to stuff a half stack into a Beetle's trunk or back seat - but if you can't get it done with a Squareback, the air cooled cars simply won't work for you, and they don't for me. Not as my one-and-only car.

I know. I so wanted it to work, too. 

"The People's Benz"

The W123 Benzes are comparably modern, quite safe, and offer better power, higher efficiency, ridiculously better build quality, and frankly are a world apart in 'car-ness', yet still score high points on 'old-car-ness', and in many of the same uniquely German ways that the VWs do. 

They're real cars for people who have lives. They're hard to break into or steal, especially the trunk, which is 14 cubic feet - you have to drive a pretty big car to get a bigger trunk than that. Seats four people effortlessly. None of the parts are hard to get or particularly expensive, unlike most other Benzes  from other epochs. This chassis, and particularly the 240D, are Benz's best selling cars in the US - they're everywhere, and like the VWs they 'sold millions'. It was so popular that the W124 replacement had to sit across the showroom floor from the W123 for a few years, as people simply still wanted this car, even over the 'better' new one.

If you live in LA especially, Colorado, the Northeast, anywhere where there was a moneyed class to buy these cars - more expensive than a Corvette in it's day - then they're around to be had, and so are parts in yards. Places where the car was relatively rare isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but you will have a harder time simply going down to the Pick Your Part and grabbing what you need for almost nothing. In LA, there aren't a lot of cheaper cars to run in that regard. There's ALWAYS a few W123s in there, mostly diesels, pretty much never manual transmissions though. 

The 280E, packing the 'mean' M110 DOHC inline six, was the fast one. However, they drink like old V8 cars, are expensive to acquire and don't age as gracefully as the diesels. 

The diesels are the real deal here - tractable if not powerful, reliable to a fault and very efficient, even by today's standards. Now we have something interesting - a solid, bank-vault style Mercedes sedan with room for four, generous front seats that could possibly accommodate NBA players with their leg and head room, well aging paint and interiors and while they have a host of problems like any old car, most are small and won't leave you stranded by the side of the road.

The Sedans might get the 'I don't want a four door!' ire up, but are cheap and easy to find, practical, have the most available, cheapest, and easy to find parts. Plus, admit it, that's a good looking four door.
And this is US spec, not with the Euro lights or bumpers.
Condition aside, this is waiting on Craigslist for you right now.

The 240D

The 240D is the mileage and longevity champ. Expect 20s in town, 30s on the highway, and the car to keep going and going. The 240D W123 was at one time the world record holder for verified mileage on a car - 2.4 million miles. As a taxi. In Budapest. The chassis, it would seem safe to say, is solid.  Buy a rust free example, keep it that way, and don't worry about the fact that the odometer broke at 230k.

The OM616 is known to last up to 1 million - that's a one with six zeroes following it - miles with regular maintenance. Change the oil and filters regularly and adjust the valves every 1-2 years. Might need to roll in a timing chain at the 500k mile mark. Likely need an injection pump rebuild and injectors at some point, too, but point being, the engines, if in good running order, tend to stay that way.

The 240D is the only W123 to arrive stateside in US trim with a manual transmission. It's a not-exactly-slick-shifting four speed, but while it has no overdrive, the mileage is still what it is and I've done 90 in them on the highway, so while it would be nice, it's not a deal breaker as a daily driver.

 As a matter of fact, the 240D MT is, well, not a rocket on the highway by any means, but is certainly a cruise missile capable of walking right past sleepy folk in cars packing several times the 67-72hp on offer. The power to weight ratio isn't the story here, it's the torque, and how the engine delivers it. If you get a chance to drive a 240D manual with a freshly rebuilt injector pump and injectors and properly  adjusted valves, the car is surprisingly peppy and can give the 300D Turbo (see below) a run for it's money with a good driver. And it's loads more fun.

I'll let someone sum up here, I can't remember the quote but it was a commonly repeated one amongst those who have experienced this car: "If you can find a decent condition 240D manual trans for a price you're willing to pay, buy it. You won't regret it."

The 240D 'autotragic' is one of the slowest cars ever made, and usually gets praise as a first car for the teenager, as there's little they can do to get in trouble with it aside from being a slowly moving chicane rolling down the road. Most people find it simply too slow, though they're easy to find for cheap because it's kind of the one no one wants. If you get a cheap manual trans car with a burnt motor or just crap body, you could swap the transmissions, shifters, and pedals over pretty easily to a nice condition 240D auto with a good motor that was cheap simply because almost no one wants them. Something to consider for the intrepid.

The Coupes are really great looking cars - and hardtops to boot! All US Coupes were 300CDs or 280CEs. 

The 300D

The 300D comes in two variants - slightly less slow than the 240D auto, aka the '300D Diesel', and the 'now we're getting somewhere' 300D Turbodiesel. If it doesn't say turbodiesel on the lid, and it's not mentioned in the ad that it's a turbo, move on. The 300D non-turbo is again easy to acquire because it's 'not one of the good ones' and actually you can easily bolt the turbo and manifolds, oil lines, etc right on  from a donor Turbo.

But why bother when you can almost always find a 300D Turbo for similar money? If you're going with an automatic transmission, and want your W123 to get up and go like a modern-ish car, the Turbo is the one.

The NA OM617 Five cylinder, 3.0 liters of it as the 300D indicates, back when that meant something, is about as reliable as it's smaller 616 cousin. The Turbo is 'only' going to be good for about 500-600k miles, but that's about 40-50 years of average American driving. The OM617a, the Turbo variant, is one of the great overbuilt engines of all time and is hardly anything to lose sleep over. The turbochargers themselves are common T3 and K26 turbos, easy and cheap to acquire used or to rebuild.

The 300D is also available in a wagon called the 300TD, and is noted for it's coolness, higher price to buy, many parts exclusive to the wagon, including the engine, and the dreaded repair costs of the SLS rear leveling system. Not for the faint of heart, and I heartily suggest owning a sedan before you get into the more troublesome wagon. They're great when they're in working order, though, and if you put the money into any W123 restoring it and expect a return, it had better be a Coupe or Wagon. Sedans are simply too dime a dozen. However, as folks looking for a screamin' deal, that's great for our purposes.

A typical, US spec, Craigslist condition wagon. Not the cheapest route, but cool, useful, and
most likely to bring a return on any restoration work done.

Turbo Possibilities

The OM617a, the Turbo motor, can be turned into quite a beast - for the price. The Finnish company Myna will take your pump and make it capable of delivering enough fuel for 450hp or so, for about 2500 bucks. Add a big honkin' snail to that, and, well, I don't know, because few folks on this side of the pond have seen these engines in three dimensional form, and while I'd like to believe the Benz powertrain capable of handling 700lb-ft, how long they hold together at such outputs is a big question mark, as most of the Finns who have these cars race them and don't share a lot of specifics, though they' really nice in the forums to talk to. I'm sure a 250hp engine with much more torque would be relatively easy to build, streetable and reliable with the Myna upgrade, but I'm simply not able to spend the dough and find out.

The stock pump is good for about 145hp, ~200lb ft. Add a Variable Vane Turbo (VVT or VGT) from a late model diesel, follow Forced Induction's vacuum control setup for the vane control, and you - apparently, I haven't driven one - get the same or better mileage, more torque earlier, and the impression of driving a big six or a small V8. Not bad for a car that'll top 20mpg city, though the highway figure is usually roughly comparable to a Chevy B-Body or non-CVPI Crown Victoria.

Yes, that's a supercharger AND a turbo. Supposedly this is a pic of the original 617a in the
world's fastest W123 diesel. Later the OM606 went in with twin turbos. Crazy Finns!

The Suspension

The W123 has an excellent stock suspension that was well adapted to rally use, and uses the classic European formula of A-Arms up front, IRS in back (in this case semi trailing arms), long travel, soft springs and hard dampers. The original equipment shocks are Bilsteins, though good luck finding a good working set under your Craigslist find. Most have Monroe or NAPA cheapo shocks.

There are non-vented discs at all four corners with fixed single piston calipers. It was a long time before most cars would see brakes like this. S class rotors and calipers can be swapped in easily for even greater abuse potential, and due to Mercedes' almost 'Chevy like' parts interchangeability, you can swap later, bigger brakes in too, though they require larger wheels.

The car has lots of ground clearance in a stock configuration, handles ok but 'safely', kind of like a Volvo does - nothing scary, nothing all that entertaining though. Tis no BMW, but to be fair the BMW owners often wish for the reliability of the Three Pointed Star.

The car's shining moment came during the 1977 London to Sydney Rally, then the longest auto race in the world and quite the story. The Mercedes 280E not only finished the rally, but finished first and second, and 4 of the top 10 finishers were driving Mercedes 280Es. While they were rally prepped with lights, heavy duty bumpers, a skid plate, and other safety equipment, the cars weren't far from European spec 280E five speeds. I was told a story about how the other drivers were fuming at the ease with which the Mercedes drivers dominated - they were often seen driving one handed, sipping coffee, and looking utterly relaxed by drivers white knuckling it in what one would consider a traditional rally mode.

If the car didn't scream 'excitement' before, I'll bet it does now!

To demonstrate, here's a video of I believe the user 'Kamel' from www.superturbodiesel.com, jumping his 78 300D in the desert. The car is cool for an auto non turbo 'beater' with some 'eh' mods at the time the video was shot.

I've even taken my personal 240D out on terrain like that lowered, which we'll get to next. Suffice to say, the cars have a lot of potential for everything from a 'Baja' style build, to Rally, to Rat Rod, to Canyon Carver, to [blank], yet still can be useful as a 'real car'. Not bad.

Hot Rodding The W123

The W123 era Mercedes has a lot going for it. Most people never see one 'done up' and thus think it's got no potential as a hotted-up ride, that it's going to be boring and a 'grandpa car'. (I think we've heard this line of thought before!) Not to mention, if you never thought you could afford a Mercedes - or really like one - this car gives you an opportunity to own something that's been good enough for some of the richest, pickiest people the world over.

The build quality is great, the old-car details are all there, and the fit and quality is far beyond the typical old American car, and while old Japanese cars tend to have been well built they're also exceedingly cheap in feel. There's no 'crashing metal' sounds upon closing the door, nor a hollow 'tin can' sound, just a vault door closing.

You couldn't ask for better chrome or polished stainless. The engine is awash in cast aluminum parts waiting to be polished, looks like an old motor, and while the side-shift tranny was kind of a relic even in the 70's, it's also a rarely tasted flavor unless you have friends that let you drive their valuable restored old cars, which I'm kind of short on. There's just a lot of really cool 'old car vibe' here, and honestly it reminds of an American style car from an alternate universe.

The paint, whether Spies and Hecker or some other German formulation, is much higher quality than most cars from the era, and in the American Southwest can easily be found in a condition of oxidation that will lower the price and vanish in an afternoon with the buffing wheel. Even my maroon example, shown below, which was left in a field for years and was so oxidized (with fade through and surface rust on the hood and fenders) that I thought it was a Brown car for the first few weeks, polished out. It was a 700 dollar purchase, and I didn't really have to put more than oil, filters, a pair of axles and fuel in it to drive it - hard - for two years, only to more than double my initial investment upon selling it.

Practically Free Lowering

The excellent suspension travel and spring design - only one end of the springs are pigtailed - allow for fairly pain-free lowering.

You MUST use a quality, disc style spring compressor to remove Mercedes springs. Few cars have springs this large and to compress 14 coils to the point of coil bind with cheapo 'hook' style compressors commonly found at the local parts store borders on suicidal.

This is one of the few cars I've ever seen that can legitimately get away with cutting coils (from the non-pigtailed end only) to lower the car.

This is not a theory - I've owned three W123 Mercedes examples lowered using this method, and one was routinely run up Bouquet Canyon, so they weren't just boulevard cruisers, though the 300D was great at that. I didn't do anything but ask some questions at forums online and follow what probably thousands of folks have done to these cars over the years. The drop and lower profile tires simply make the car.

Crappy cell phone pic of the 300D. "Hot Wheels" chrome 15s and a -2 front, -2 rear drop. I personally think the rear
should have only been dropped -1.5, but the results speak for themselves.
Very pleasant, easy to drive, and looks great. 

Speaking of which, if you're not doing this to a 240D/MT, or plan on swapping that car's stick into a 300D Turbo, I'd advise against going 'gonzo' on the suspension. The rear suspension cannot be adjusted to relieve camber gain, so you will eat rear tires faster, and with a 300D turbo in stock ish condition or any other auto car for that matter, you'll likely not be able to take advantage of going nuts with the car. You can easily make the car look great without having to turn it into a pain in the ass 'low rider' that you'll not want to drive daily anymore. And believe me, these cars with low profile tires on stock wheels and a mild drop will get you plenty of compliments, even in a town overflowing with AMGs like LA.

If you take a coil off the front to begin with, and leave the rear alone, you'll likely get rid of the 'motorboat/2WD Offroader' stance, will hardly notice any change in alignment, and can still run stock sized tires. If you can borrow the spring compressor, already own a 4" grinder and the tools needed for the job, you can get a better stance on these cars for around 4 bucks and afternoon's work.

I would suggest for mild drops, 3/4 of a coil is best to start with at the rear. 1 coil isn't bad but is getting more radical, and 1.5 is absolutely as far as I'd go, and only if you're going full monty on the front springs.

If you lower the back, 2 coils are the max for cars you still want to drive as though they're an everyday car, and will require 60 series tires (XXX/60/14s) or they will rub, and by rub might bend your fender lips outward and crack the paint. I'd suggest rolling the lips anyway for anyone considering lowering these cars. 'Rolling' can actually fairly easily be accomplished by a medium sized rubber mallet, just make passes down the arch and bend the metal a bit at a time instead of doing it all the way 3 inches at a time.

My personal 240D, "Donkey" the Mule, in almost as completed form. Killer stance, easy to drive on real roads, and
a real kick on a mountain road. I'd regret selling this car if not for the Roadmaster which came afterward. 

For going for the gusto, the solution is thus: before you turn a wrench, go buy some 195-60-14s for the stock wheels (205-60-14s are also available but uncommon), and then remove 3 coils in front and 1-1.5 in the back. Align the car, though with a good alignment to begin with it'll still track fine and won't have a ton of excess camber. Now go drive the thing like you mean it.

Seriously, the 240D/MT with the above mods is a four-door Miata - slow, but if you pick your line and drive the car like it's supposed to be driven, you get smiles for hours. I've gotten sideways in a 240D setup only halfway like this, -3 front, -1 back, 60 series on front and stocks in back. That was my first setup and I still kinda wish I'd kept that car.

If you have to buy the Baum compressor new (~200 bucks), the grinder, the ball joint splitter, the rubber mallet, you still won't approach the cost of aftermarket springs available for this chassis, and you'll still need the above tools minus the grinder. It's practically free, works wonders on the looks, feel, and performance of the car, and it's also our latest project writeup: Project Beer Budget Benz. I'll show you a few variations on the theme - I've owned two 240D/MTs and one 300D Turbo - and introduce you to the coolest overlooked old car you never considered for a project.

This is the latest 'build', a truly Rat Rod style project that rehabbed a poor 240D/MT that
suffered at the hands of some wannabe lowrider builders.
Car had tons of vibe and cost almost nothing. -3 front, -1.5 rear

Beer Budget BMW Beating Benz

I see a lot of people talking about eco-rodding, and the Hot Rod/Car Craft crowd is always talking about driving your old cars everyday. I've even seen some rat rods running Cummins, Isuzu, and GM diesel engines, and they're really cool. Here, we get to do it all at once, and we get to do it without owning a shop to work out of or having to be some wannabe version of Chip Foose. All of the mods I'm showing you can be done in a driveway, even on an LA street, and I know, because that's where I did it.

Most people who think 'German performance sedan' immediately think BMW, and I'm frankly tired of hearing about the Bavarians. They're great cars but they've become boring and I'm tired of everyone thinking that 'only a Beemer will do'. These cars lowered, with the manual, are neither 'the same' as a BMW nor 'nowhere near'. Simply a different flavor.

I'll show you how you can own your first Benz, maybe your first Diesel, build a cool, attention getting (or not, they make great sleepers too), truly economical daily driver that:

- drives and brakes like a modern car
- gets better mileage than some modern cars to this day, and
- still have the joy and vibe of an old car.

One, I might add, that's a pleasure to work on, and designed to be easily maintained by a non-technician.

In 2012, for the folks who like the panache of old cars, like driving like a madman on occasion, like reliability and MPGs, and want to build a car - maybe for the first time - but think they can't afford to, or that it'll be impractical to get a car they'd both like to drive and be seen in, there's nothing like it, and it's one of the best buys going in the current market. If my poor broke ass can have 3, someone who has a better budget to work with can certainly pull it off. And my investment in these cars beyond a bit of suspension work was practically nil, so if you really have some money for a project car, imagine what you can do.

Oh, and I didn't even mention the W123's possibilities for the truly speed addicted as a V8 swap candidate.

Ok, so the 'boring rod' didn't get your attention. Do I have it now? Thought so.

See you soon.

- CID Vicious

Leave The Damn FR-S/BRZ/GT86 ALONE.

An Open Letter to Subaru and Toyota:

You've made quite a splash with the FR-S/BRZ/GT86. Congratulations on a commendable design.

You might not find this letter of much interest, as I'm currently not in the market for a vehicle. However, I am a driving enthusiast, and I assure you, were I in better financial straights at this time, this would be a good contender for my first new car, ever. Simply put, there are few used cars to compare it with, at least ones that I'd feel good about the idea of maintaining. I can't just use my usual metric of 'oh, yeah, but I could just buy an old one and mod it, and still probably spend less than buying a new one.' And, unlike a lot of other modern cars that would fall by the wayside due to my hot rodding predilection, I can't just go out and build one myself, so to speak. 

I'll spare you reading the rest of my blog to let you know I like traditional American cars, though I've had plenty of imports and find them both different tools good for different jobs. I've owned a couple of Celica Supras and MR2s, both project level cars I didn't get to really experience in full but were mightily impressed by, and have some light Subaru experience as well. I have respect for both companies, their histories, and their products.

With that in mind - that, while I'm of the 'Stick a Small Block Chevy in it' mentality, I think the FR-S/BRZ is a great design as-is - and, I'll bet, one Porsche wishes it had thought up first. It's a true original and a great example of what Japan can come up with in the pursuit of a great sports car. Jeremy Clarkson would agree, and last I'd heard he was ultra-smitten by the Mercedes C63 AMG Black Edition. Nice company to have.

Most driving enthusiasts/car guys agree on the merits of the car, and while I'm not a new car buyer, I eagerly anticipate perhaps being able to pick up one of these used in a few years. I'll likely have to 'settle' for a first gen Miata, but while I've been in love with Chevies and their small block V8s all my life, and are very proud of GM's latter day renaissance, I'm fairly captivated by this car. And many new'import' models to me, or rather the class of cars the term represented when I was growing up, seems rather bloated now.

My SE-R Classic was ~2300lbs,  a new one is now 900lbs heavier. And that's roughly accurate for all cars made lately. The Honda Civic Si is closer in spec to a Prelude VTEC of 20 years ago than a Civic Si of the same era. Both a good and a bad thing, some would say. I started losing interest when new FWD 'compacts' were outweighing big block Novas. When Camrys and Accords started making my Whale Body Caprice seem svelte. Seemed like the import scene had had it's day, as legit world beating compacts became overshadowed by the new breed of 400 horsepower 'midrange' models. 5, 6, 7 hundred horsepower to be had, who cared anymore? Of course, I'll never get to buy one of these cars, but it's fun to bench race, isn't it?

For one, how many variants on the FWD 'hot hatch' formula can one lust after? Instead, look at this car, promising intriguing new possibilities in an age where every variant on every theme had seemed done already. We even have 'Jetsons cars' in the sense of the self piloting cars being developed. And flying cars, too, for the folks that don't think sliding into a ravine or getting into a head-on freeway collision seemed dangerous enough. And - as a wagon owner now, bravo - it even gives you a lot of the 'hot hatch' usability, unlike many other 'dedicated' sports cars that essentially say 'you'll be wanting another car if you actually have a life or feel like bringing anything with you.'

And frankly, cars like the Lexus LFA don't even show up on my radar. Not going to happen short of an 80's style recording contract, winning the lottery, a fat lawsuit, etc. The $110k ZR1 and slightly more frugal Z06 show up merely because of Bowtie love and the fact that if I were to spend such money, the return on performance is ridiculous, putting the car very much in LFA territory, aka some of the fastest production cars money can buy. If I decided to live in it in lieu of a house, it might even be quasi attainable! But still, I'll likely not own a new 'halo' car anytime soon, perhaps ever.

Not even if they accepted Food Stamps.

Even the WRX STi, while it was the car that really broke me originally on my pro-US stance on performance cars, nowadays I'm back into RWD V8 cars, and we have plenty to choose from in all shapes and sizes. It wouldn't make me show up at the dealership for a new one, as good as it is, because - again - I could get a used one and modify it for less money if I really wanted it. Turns out I like slip angle and burnouts and drifting - RWD stuff that AWD puts the kibosh on. It's a great car, Subaru, but I have options, and they're not going to make me forget about losing money watching the car depreciate. No offense, just my fiscal reality.

The FR-S/BRZ is something else - something made of Obtainium. I appreciate that, and the car's relative simplicity and restraint when some cars get away with being rolling iPhone docks.

And it's as close to a modern Elan as we're going to get. Not in the sense of a direct copy per se as in the Miata, but the glove the Elan threw down in the 60's as the car wars went nuclear on both sides of the Atlantic. V12 Jaguars, American and German V8s, etc. As Peter Egan said in this month's Road and Track, 'it instantantly makes you wonder why so many other sports cars were so large and heavy. What were they trying to accomplish that the Elan couldn't do? Support a larger engine? (Which, in turn, required a heavier car?)'

It's not 1500lbs, granted, but you don't have to carry tools with you just to make it to work, and compared to almost every car that isn't an Elise out there, it's quite svelte enough.

While it's an extreme example, and a bit of a stretch, to compare it to the Elan in a way, the FR-S/BRZ reminds people of how 'little' you require to create driving enjoyment. Chasing lap times and other numbers is fine in a way and great for the automotive world, as much of our efficiency and safety strides have been made at the race track, at least in the form of the seed technology. But not every car, not every driver's car especially, has to be a 'Supercar'. Yet, were this car somehow offered at this spec in the 90's it might be considered one, or damn close.

This car had only 76hp more than the FRS/BRZ, and
it's a legend you still can't touch for less than the cost
of a new Toyobaru 20 years later.

Mike Kojima has written reams on the SE-R Classic and he's gotten to drive who knows how many cutting edge cars, and owns one of the fastest and highly tuned 300ZX Twin Turbos in North America. Yet he loves the SE-R, still, some 20 years later, FWD and all. And the SE-R is simply good engineering and attention to the right details in a pretty ho-hum package, at least from a 'car guy' standpoint. I loved that car and was crushed when my well used example threw a rod, but it remains a high water mark in my automotive experience. And, after all, it was merely a hotted up Sentra. All 140hp of it. The FRS/BRZ is so much more special than that.

However, 200hp - JDM only output back in the day, for many platforms - doesn't seem good enough for the 'I want everything yesterday' crowd, and as there have been libraries written about car design and modification, immediately folks saw the FR-S/BRZ, said 'I'll bet a WRX STi motor would bolt right in', and the RABBLERABBLERABBLE calling for 'more horsepower!' hasn't stopped since.

Everyone is a critic, a 'tuner', a wannabe engineer, and has some 'really good advice'.

From the viewpoint of someone who has hot rodding in his blood, that can't even refrain from customizing the car he lives in on almost no budget, who wants a V8 swapped RX7 like no one's business, can I say this?

Leave it alone.

At least for now. The car has hardly been out six months yet, if that, and frankly folks are still getting used to something that has a lower cg than a Cayman and costs less than a Mustang GT. Like the Miata before it, folks are getting used to driving it the way it needs to be driven, but they're figuring it out and liking it. As the Porsche 914 crowd still likes to say, it's a car that makes you tighten the nut behind the wheel in pursuit of higher speed. That legend itself, part of the experience of going fast in the 'People's Porsche' was figuring out how to actually drive it in the fastest manner, instead of driving it like a 'lesser' car.

There is always the aftermarket, and I've already heard of 450hp BRZs out there. Whether you turbocharge it or not, the Genie is out of the bottle, and no doubt the import tuner crowd have been salivating and bench racing this thing since you've announced it, not even concerned with the car-as-it-is, and merely how they're going to 'make it better' even before the first journalist - or perhaps even test driver at the factory! - had driven it.

Folks put 5.0 Mustang motors in the Miata, too. We've got one driving around Venice, and it's a hoot like all hot rods are, I'm sure. But somehow the Miata sold plenty just how it was, and while it was certainly upgraded over the years, it was a long time before the Mazdaspeed Miata was necessary. And really, it hasn't been since. Not to sell an awful lot of cars of a type most companies don't consider 'viable'. Few people are storming out of Mazda dealerships because there isn't a turbo option from the factory for the Miata. Racing series grew up around the car. And Caymans and Boxsters still sell, despite being hindered from overtaking the 911. For about twice the price of the gem you're offering.

If you want to tweak it - why even ask, of course you will. Just this: listen to your audience like a good musician or stand up comedian would, and they'll tell you. Apparently - I haven't driven one yet - there's a bit of a flat spot in the torque curve. Perhaps it's an easy enough thing to tune out for next year's model. If the torque dip is fixable without major surgery, fix it and see if they're still whining.

Think about the Corvette and it's seats - Chevy merely had to listen to what every journalist said about the damn seats. It wasn't some vague thing that was hard to put a finger on.

Crystal Ball Alert - I can see the future, and it's the Internet. People will complain. About things they'll never buy in the first place. But they'll still do it. You'll get feedback - probably more than you want!

However, really, I loved my CRX Si, and the powerplant was...ok. I mean, really, a little flat in the torque department? Have they driven an older Honda? Or some of Toyota's revvier engines? It was hardly the centerpiece of the car, merely really not getting in the car's way. The D16's 6000 rpm power peak is only 100rpm over an LS3s now, hardly stratospheric, yet the car simply produces wide grins even today, when there are likely base model automatic Kias that can trounce it from a stoplight.

I think folks are so prone to nitpicking everything that such 'more powah' requests should be taken with an extra large grain of salt. The Internet's favorite pastime is posing as an expert, after all, guilty as charged myself - and while I'm sure the car is going to be developed and improved upon, it's entirely possible that the better course of action to lean towards is letting the car stand on it's own merits and letting people come around.

I used to think Miatas were 'girl cars' and mocked their tiny shifter, which I likened to an Atari 2600 joystick in the shadow of giant Hurst sledgehammers. This was circa 1995 when I was in high school, before everyone was on the internet, but if I could have been, I would have roundly mocked it, and perhaps even been taken seriously as I've always had a way with words. I'm sure there are legions of clones out there of the dumbass I was back then, if not even worse, and they're all over the net.

I've come around. I still like my redneck cars for what they are, but my last car was a Mercedes, and before I rediscovered my love for American Iron, the only American car I owned was a Chevy van, because it was...a van. For awhile I wouldn't consider American cars either. If I can come around, and around again, I'm sure other folks are capable.

When they don't seem like it, remind them that the 14.8 second quarter mile and 6.2 0-60 dash of the FRS/BRZ is faster than a:


1967 Chevrolet Camaro SS 0-60 mph 7.9 Quarter mile 15.2
1985 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z28 0-60 mph 6.9 Quarter mile 15.0
1995 Chevrolet Impala SS 0-60 mph 6.9 Quarter mile 15.2
1967 Ford Mustang (V8) 0-60 mph 7.3 Quarter mile 15.4
1988 Ford Mustang GT 0-60 mph 6.3 15.0 
1996 Ford Mustang GT 0-60 mph 6.7 Quarter mile 15.1
1995 Mercedes E420 (Auto) 0-60 mph 7.0 Quarter mile 15.1
1967 Lotus Elan SE 0-60 mph 7.9 Quarter mile 16.1
2010 Toyota Camry SE 0-60 mph 8.0 Quarter Mile 16.2
Every non-Turbo Toyota MR2
1989 Toyota Supra Turbo 0-60 mph 6.5 Quarter mile 15.0
1989 Mazda RX-7 Turbo 0-60 mph 6.6 Quarter mile 14.9
2009 Mazda RX-8 R3 0-60 mph 6.5 Quarter Mile 14.8
Most every BMW non-M 3 series before '98
All 2002-earlier Infiniti Q45s
All Non-John Cooper Works Mini Coopers made since 2002
2000 Subaru Impreza 2.5RS Sedan 0-60 mph 7.7 Quarter Mile 15.7
1973 Porsche 911S 0-60 7.7 Quarter Mile 15.1
1974 Porsche 914 2.0   0-60 mph 8.8   Quarter mile 16.5
1988 Porsche 944 Turbo   0-60 mph 6.5   Quarter mile 14.9
1998 Porsche Boxster   0-60 mph 6.3    Quarter mile 14.8


That's a small and very incomplete list. My SE-R and Si would belong up there, too, as would Project Roadmaster in all likelihood. The list of cars that this car nips on the heels of in acceleration, and would probably annihilate in cornering ability, would be much longer. 

No one buys those cars because they're 'slow'. Hell, the FR-S will beat a 76 Lamborghini Countach LP400 to 60 by .4 seconds. 

Line up. 

Tell the nerds to lighten up, relax, and congratulate yourself on making a great, unique, and fundamentally great driver's car in an age when everything seems to be a copy of a copy. Thank you. 

- The Actually Smart Car Blog, and drivers everywhere. 

Sneak Peak At Our Next Project

As you might have heard, Project Roadmaster is in another stable and doing well. I've been working on our new project and it's something different entirely, but something cool and valid and has a place in hot rodding, especially in our present times. Another often over looked platform and a hoot to drive.

Hint: after the practical flag waving ending of my last post, it's NOT the American ride. It's simply...the most interesting practically free hot rod in the world. 

More coming soon.

Project Buick Roadmaster, Part 7: Impala SS-ify Me!

Sorry for the wait. Not everyone has the option of being punctual whilst hot rodding the car they're sleeping in, and since the last post I've suffered the losses of my camera and laptop, and are only now finding a computer available to read my old memory card, etc. Thanks for waiting, all two of you.

There's a certain fear in hot rodding - the idea that you're going to buy Car X, mod it in various (and often expensive) ways, and for all of your effort, you're going to end up with what ends up being know as "Oh - THAT car."

Somehow, someone didn't see the local Cruise Night Crew guffawing at your 'Pintomino', no matter the rare 13" alloy wheels and other bits from the Mustang II bin. The car below? An examplar of taste compared to the 'Pinto-mino' my cousin ran around in while converting his 2.3l Mustang to the proper 5 liters. Missing? Oh, I don't know, the twin Cherry Bombs (complete with flappers) that were supposed to add a 'big rig' air to the little Pinto. No, it wasn't even a stick. I'll see if he'll send me some 'blackmail' photos later, but this isn't far away!

"Dude, it's all custom...it's gonna get me LAID, for SURE!!!"

Such was my personal nightmare; after being 're-dyed in the wool' as an Import Geek, I just wasn't capable of shutting the Bench Racer in my head up; "The chassis dates to 1958, it's not even a unibody, 4200lbs(!) of steel, no one but drag race guys seem to build them. You're going to end up with a medium fast in a straight line car with wheels that make it look like it should be faster that it is. Lame." Granted, I was more going for 'fastest RV I can afford to live out of', thus sheer capacity was more import than curb weight. But the nagging little small bore fanatic in me essentially voted for keeping it stock.

Yeah, right. Never seems to work out that way...

Basically, I'd been brow beaten to the effect that any car that didn't show 'Miata-ness' in it's stock configuration was simply beyond help, even though such luminous examples of import righteousness as the RX7, Supra, CRX and other Honda Si models, etc, rarely attain any kind of 'dominance' at the track unless modified in the first place. Don't bother sinking money into a pig, is the thought. And, of course, there's the "I got my info from [Blank] Performance Magazine" syndrome, where you'll rarely find worse information for the grassroots builder, even online. The schlubs online at least only have their own shortcomings to deal with - they're not actively trying to sell you automotive snake oil with inflated claims of power gains.

You know the one - "Yeah, this exhaust is worth 20hp on this car - granted, that was on a motor that had custom porting, custom ground cams, and oh yeah, it's turbocharged." Gains without said work? Take a guess, but I was warned by Mike Kojima himself online when I had my SE-R that the stock exhaust was fine up until ~180hp had been achieved - in other words, a more or less fully built NA motor or a Turbo version. Said 500 dollar cat back exhaust's actual worth to folks more interested in going fast than impressing 'net geeks they'll never meet? Almost nothing unless you've already exhausted pretty much every other modification.

So when I set out to modify the Roadie, I was skeptical. "Oh, this thing handles great now" never seemed to be backed up by skidpad tests and usually was uttered by a real Impala SS owner - in other words, guys with money to buy badges that match VIN numbers, not my game personally. Also, it tended to be uttered by folks more interested in quarter mile times than autocross dominance. "Handles great" to me sounded like it was coming from a guy who thought it was 'great' compared to the '65 Impala he used to have, or 'better than when I was driving to work on Big N Littles!'

However, I got my last big check in the mail, and the idea had been obsessing me to the point of idiocy anyway. I cashed the check, got online, and smashed headlong into a brick wall. Oops - no SS wheels for sale. Unlike last week, when I was checkless and three sets where going for ~350 bucks with tires.

To the forum! For some odd reason there was a set waaaaay out in Pomona that didn't show up in my search, but after posting a wanted ad over at http://www.impalassforum.com/, I ended up with a lead. I scored a good set of OE SS wheels, sans center caps, for 250.

Next I had to find tires, and turns out many forum members buy their 17" and up tires from as far away as Hawaii used a few exits down from where I stay. Atlantis Tire takes advantage of a local condition - that of having lots and lots of new BMWs and Porsches in the hands of owners that want to distinguish themselves from the 12 other BMW or Porsche owners currently bellied up to the bar at the Viper Room. Or wherever it is they hang out at. These are good sets of tires, inspected for flaws, for a decent price - 200 bucks for a set of Continental Conti-Sport CS2s in 245-45-17.

Around the corner to a local tire shop and I was in business! (For an extra 50 bucks.)

So, 500 bucks for a set of Impala SS wheels with Porsche tires. Not bad - all 'known quantities', no issues with fitment, bolt them on and go. I wasn't going to have such luck in the aftermarket. Besides which, though it's an 'obvious' mod, the ROH wheels that came stock on the SS are fairly iconic for a reason, are OE tough (nice when you're controlling two tons of steel driven by a lunatic), and are even easy to clean. They might not have the cache of other wheels, but think about it - transport yourself back to 93 and being, like a few folks, a little underwhelmed at the 'Shamu' styling of the Caprice. A little black paint, chopped police springs and these wheels later, you're standing in line, cash in hand.

Nice wheels.

My original plan was to get the rolling stock changed out for minimal cash. This involved selling the OE Buick wheels and tires for ~150 bucks, reducing my investment to 350 bucks. However, a forum member came out of the blue with an offer: "I've got a set of Hotchkis springs here with 8 miles on them. Wanna trade? Huh, huh?"

Let me look at the car with just the wheels on again...

Buick Roadmaster, now apparently with 4 wheel drive...

Dammit, man, you KNOW I wanna trade. Sigh...looks like I'm heading back to Peanut Butter Sandwich-ville faster than I thought...

A trip out to the desert to my secret underground garage facility and many knuck busting, ball joint splitting hours later...

Well, actually, two trips later. I spent the first trip out lowering just the front, which was less than ideal in a few ways - handling, one, and two, approaching driveways and dips, as the higher back end tipped the front even closer to the pavement.

After getting both ends on, we have this result...

Sweeeeeeeeet!!!

Not only is the stance pretty amazing, the handling is now up to par with my other modified vehicles of recent ownership. I'd regularly go after 35mph rated corners, and see how hard it was to double the posted limit. That was pretty hairy with the stock configuration as the 75 series sidewalls were just not cooperating. After the Hotchkis springs and SS wheels/Contisports went on, suddenly it just went through the corner. No drama, and we're talking a 4200lb car when it's got an empty trunk. I was running it with a quite full one. 

The results convinced me that with the SS wheels, good tires, and lowering springs (stock Impala SS items probably would be nearly as good with better ground clearance), the 'Grandpa' Buick is all of a sudden willing to play when the road gets twisty. I can now see why the SS's and other B bodies do so well in motor sports despite their gargantuan size. 

I think a mildly modded motor, SS wheels/tires, springs, shocks, and rear lower control arms are all this car really needs to get down. The potential was already evident even without 'appropriate' shocks (just used the stock items), not even an alignment. This is a good driver's car, and seeing SS's giving 'real' track hardware sweats at auto crosses doesn't seem weird to me at all anymore. 

Pimpest Ride on Skid Rose. Woo not included.

WARNING!!!!

Run these tires on a heavy car like this for a few months without taking care of the camber gain WILL result in having about an inch of steel belt looking at you from the inside edge of the tire. I pulled four different 1/4" shims out of the upper A arm mounts to put it 'eyeball' correct after seeing this, and it did mitigate the wear some, but still, message to the wise - if you LOWER a car, ALIGN it ASAP! Cheaper than a new (used) set of tires. 

****

I never got to finish this piece before my laptop crashed last year, so this isn't the promised wrap-up, just finishing what was to be the last installment on the car while I still owned it. 

Stay tuned for the wrap up and the story on the 240D buildup that came after - aka the 'Easiest Hot Rod In The World'. 

- CID

The (actually) Smart Car Blog Roars To Life: a Manifold Manifesto!

I don't know if the world needs another blog, exactly; many would say, hell no, we don't. Especially from YOU, CID Vicious (not to be confused with another blogger with one post from 2005). However, I don't see a lot of people coming at the whole 'automotive enthusiast' thing from my angle, either. I'm a broke musician type and was before the economic collapse.

However I've also been wrenching on cars since I did most of the brake job on the family's 83 Caprice Coupe at age 12. My family never had a lot of money, but Dad was a regular Jack of All Trades, and Master of a Few. We had one of the most feared cars in the neighborhood, a 64 Chevy II Nova 2 door post with a worked to the bone 355. I've been a 'car guy' ever since Dad strapped the car seat in that thing and floored it. I only rode in that car a few times - Dad had better places to spend money than on that car and it wasn't a daily driver anymore, for sure. But it was formative - that, and hearing the cammed, header'd, small block rattle the windows of the house when he'd start it up once or twice a month, watching the dog go hide under the bed.

My Dad built that car with his own two hands, motor and all, chose the cam and gears ("You've got to pick your gear ratio and build the rest of the car around that", he'd say, and most drag racers would generally concur). He couldn't just buy a built car, or sign off on a loan, but every once in awhile when the cash in hand and parts for sale on the used market came together, he built a car that a lot of the more monied folks in the 'hood wouldn't challenge. A kid up the block had a father who was in the Coast Guard and there was an Audi and a turbo Probe in the driveway (this was 1987-88 or so), and the flat black car didn't look like much after Dad sold the wheels and put the old steelies back on it. The kid though it was just a pile of junk, and asked his dad if he thought the Probe could take my dad's car.

"Which house is yours, Danny?"

I told him.

"The old black Nova?"

I nodded.

"Son, there's no way in hell my car is faster than that car. It's newer and nicer, but it's not faster."

You could sum up a lot of my own life in that little exchange. Hot rodding to me was about David vs. Goliath; the revenge of the working class. Nothing worse than having a high dollar ride and having your date see you lose to a car you're pretty sure is going to be parked in a trailer park later that night. In the front yard, with the kid's bike jammed underneath the front wheel, and the driver passed out halfway to the front door, possibly.

Later on I 'got with it' and started my forays into the "furrin'" cars. With a dad with several Small Block Chevy powered cars in the driveway - mom's ride was a 65 Nova SS hardtop with an upgraded but mild 283. Dad's ride for awhile was the 69 flat nose Chevy with a 327 bolted to the three-on-the-tree, running 15x8 slotted mags with fat tires and the rubber fender lips to make them visually legal if not actually letter of the law legal. (Another trait passed down from father to son, though I swear your honor, those days are long behind me!). I was awash in vintage American iron when a lot of the 'better off' kids were getting shuttled to school in the new FWD Corollas and putting on much the same air as the little blonde bastard in the Toyota Highlander commercials. (Full disclosure: my current ride is a Roadmaster sedan, and that kid is full of...)

That kid in the old Taurus is going to ghetto stomp your ass on the
playground tomorrow,  just letting you know. You'll be able to watch
DVDs on the way to the hospital, though, so there's that.

However I, as earlier stated, am a 'wannabe rock star' and trust me, music gear can be as harsh (or even worse of) a mistress as a car addiction, especially if you had my pizza delivery guy/security guard level income. So I never got to go full bore on any projects without thinking that somehow I was cheating myself of 'the big time' and actually, I have had some great experiences on the fringes of the 'big time' music business that are so out there I'm currently writing a book about them. So I can't say I cheated myself of much, and actually learned much about false economy and the virtues of small cars along the way.

Pictured: possible daily driver. Circa 1980. It's 2011 folks.
Sometimes they don't build 'em like that anymore for a reason.

I started off with a 72 Super Beetle, had a Celica Supra left to me by my father (he wrote service for Toyota dealerships in the 80s and loved the Gen II Supras, and bought a pair after his Turbo 600 'vert (K car) got t-boned. I went with an S10 for awhile as I was vagabonding it and the combination of a relatively peppy 2.8l, five speed, and camper top was good for that summer. I put the spare set of 225-60-R14s on the stock S10 steelies, flat blacked them, and cornered as hard as you could in such a setup for minimal cash outlay, and traded 'up' to a VW Jetta that winter. I finally had what I thought was a 'legit' import that was running and driving, unlike the basket case Supra that had already gone to parts car heaven so far as I knew.

That car was really decent, actually, and if I had a few bucks to where the lack of a Japanese Junkyard 'safety net' of cheap barely used engines were inconsequential, I might consider another A2 Jetta as a sleeper. VR6s bolt in like B series motors bolt into Civics, and while I thought the twist beam axle was lame at the time, it afforded a really, really huge trunk. Like, Marshall-half-stack-swallowing-and-oh-btw-got-a-cooler-and-your-laundry-I-still-got-room-to-close-this-thing huge. I drove the snot out of this thing, it was great in the Long Island winter (FWD haters must either be sporting 2 digit IQs or just never have had to get to work in the middle of a Nor'Easter). Aside from the 'eh, it can't be fast, it's FWD' effect.

Don't worry about little ol' me, you just rev that 4-point-sumthin'
engine in that 5k lb truck one more time...

However, it was a great lesson in why you buy the GLI if you're so serious about going fast, rather than 'building' anything; the 1.8l motor was reliable and willing but produced about 90-95hp and wasn't a bolt on friendly engine. I put a set of 16x7s on but it just illustrated what the stock 13s had been hiding all along, the worn out front end. In the end I wished I'd shopped better and saved the extra 500 bucks that a GLI would have run me at the time. I sold the car and moved to Los Angeles, again. Volvo 760 Turbo Wagon time. For a few minutes anyway, I was a brick lover hummin' about how Swede it was. Then I figured out exactly why they don't build them up that much - lack of parts that aren't from across the pond and expensive, less 'bulletproof' motors when they're severely boosted, the 16v head doesn't bold on, no room for big tires to put big power down. So much for being weird and different - sometimes you just don't see certain cars built much for a reason, and it's not always lack of imagination.

And so on. I've had some nice furrin' rides, for sure. However I'm the rare guy who sees nothing but genius and the future of hot rodding in the souls that say damn the purists on both sides, this RX7 is getting an LS6 and a 6-speed! While I love the idea of an engine swap like this, it's hard to accomplish and relatively expensive. Better to start off with something already good, running, and factory offered.

Come on. You know that you want this, and that an LT1 swap
would provide. Take the race stuff off and go out hunting Camaros,
Civics, Mustangs, Porsches. "I just got beat by WHAT???!!"

I've come to appreciate the things that America did so right in cars like my Roadmaster; a 260hp, 335lb-ft Corvette engined luxury saloon capable of rending an SUV irrelevant with it's 5000 pound towing capacity, not to mention it's willingness to be transformed into a sleeper Impala SS or a drag monster. In fact, while most Jalopnik commenters might scream "Land Yacht! Yank Tank!", the car is waiting to be turned into a more willing road partner by simple things like affordable lower control arms, and actually putting the forward body mounts in so the frame does it's job.

This 4200lb car (not so svelte, sure, but do you see what a Camaro or a Taurus SHO weighs in at now? The sheer size of an Accord?) runs 15s and does the towing thing, does the 6 passenger seating, does the 20 cubic feet of trunk space - the SUV thing, in other words. As a musician who is prone to running around with imminently pawn-able items that cost hundreds to thousands to replace, sometimes borrowed, I prefer my valuables out of sight and encased in steel, but to those that need space more than privacy the Wagons offer even more seating and cargo room for a reasonable 300lb weight penalty.

These 'big' cars also get 25mpg, 17 in the city, which are numbers that all embarrass a newer hybrid Suburban, for example. Most full size trucks that have this kind of towing capacity - even midsize! - have a hard time getting 20mpg. 20 year old technology and a fat chassis overloaded with luggage and passengers still netted me 23.5 mpg at 70mph or above coming back from Mardis Gras this year. Diesel pickups would have a hard time replicating that feat, as would similarly powered SUVs, so how doesn't a car like this make sense if it were updated just enough to sell to more than the Geritol set? Cars like this were staples of the American Family for decades for a reason. Imagine what they'd be like with a few parts reengineered (and all of the body mounts installed!).

I find it funny, my little automotive journey. I turned my back on cars I'd grown up loving to embrace cars I'd always hated; the Miata (in high school I walked by going "aww, cute, is that a shifter or did someone leave their Atari 2600 joystick behind?"), VW Beetle, and Civic come to mind. As a matter of fact, I traded my CRX Si for the Roadie; as a traveling performer I simply needed more room and wasn't house bound as I was when I'd bought the go-kart. However, the Roadie handles well enough for it's size and the baloneys it has to ride on until I can afford some real rubber for it, and simply blows the (rather quick) Si's doors off in a straight line, and no chance of a missed shift either.

What the 'real driver's car' of the two would see.
Yes, those are turn downs. Gramps chugs creatine.

Now I've come full circle, back on native soil if you will. The V8 obsessed hot rod kid did the thing with the import four-bangers (and six-pots) and came back home to pushrod V8s and rear drive, and neither moonshine nor a full frontal lobotomy were involved. Maybe he's high! (Maybe? Chances are...)

After twisting my back up doing the timing belt on the D16A6, getting into the Roadie's soft, comfy chairs and cruising home was like heaven; maybe I'm getting old. But I've learned that automobiles are never anything but a bundle of compromises in several different directions; perception (does your car get the local 'Honda Club' guys wanting a race every trip to the store like my black Si did? Ever drive a car like that in the 'wrong neighborhood' vs. something like a Volvo or Mercedes 240D? Perception isn't just the guy in the other lane, it's the cop behind the both of you deciding which one to possibly pull over), value for money relative to the end use of the vehicle (daily driver? Destroy all comers (and stock parts) track car?), single or family owned, etc. Now, the Roadmaster fits my needs perfectly in a way that a more 'hip car guy approved' ride like the CRX or the 240D that came before it ultimately could not. I almost sold the Buick to buy another 240D, but it couldn't handle the trunk loads I'd put in it with the IRS (especially lowered like it would inevitably be) and while the 300D was a wee bit more powerful, it wasn't really all that much more efficient save in the city. The Roadie simply made more sense for what it did for the money and it's various other benefits. Although the 240D does make for a great canyon carver...

Call me a 'hipster' and I'll crack this f&@#ing
thing across your skull. :D

I actually like the fact that my Roadie, and the 240D that preceded it, are so under the radar. Why do I want cops and thieves (hope I'm not being redundant there) to eye up my ride? So some joker online gives me kudos rather than crap? (Coming from an online joker, of course.)

Funnily enough when many are clamoring for GM to bring the G8 back as the new Caprice, wanting a 'modern' chassis with LS power, what we perhaps needed was GM to bring back the full frame automobile fit for modern duty; a 5.3l LS V8 would net as high as 28mpg while producing 330hp and lighten the car by a hundred pounds or so compared to my iron headed car; unlike the IRS Holden chassis a (dare I say?) Ford-ified version of the live axle (or perhaps just lower control arms that don't suck?) would return both good handling and road manners and the ability to stuff the trunk with hundreds of pounds of stuff and hit the highway - without requiring a self leveling suspension system to keep the camber gain from making the car unstable at highway speeds. Ask the engineers behind the 300DT.

Not that the Holden/G8 thing isn't just tits on wheels, mind you, but while Dad wants a Corvette with four doors, he needs to be able to tow a trailer every once in awhile and use the vehicle as - gasp - a real car. That's what struck me upon getting the Roadie - how well suited this car was for American roads and the needs that arise on them, rather than suited for the Car and Driver test that's going to be handed to the BMW 3 series entrant anyway. The large tires and high stance made a lot of sense in places like New Orleans, with possibly some of the worst streets anywhere. In cases like that the last thing you want is a pavement scraping track whore on rubber bands.

Such an observation could be a metaphor for where I find myself, coming full circle. At one point I thought the Smart Car was, you know, smart. Then you realize that the car is slower, less fun to drive, more expensive, and even more fuel thirsty than just getting a cheap used japanese compact from the late 80s to the early 2000s now. I kind of feel that a lot of people haven't gotten the message that maybe throwing a 2.0l turbo four into every car (because it will magically be faster AND more fuel efficient than a V8, even though there are turbo four powered cars with 1000 pounds less curb weight or more that get 25mpg or less; they're going to get BETTER mileage with a bigger car?) and that when FWD cars and 'pony' cars start edging up on the curb weights of what used to be 'land yacht' territory, perhaps some new thoughts are in order about what's necessary right now in the world of 2011 and onward.

Maybe we don't need to reinvent the wheel, just use what we already have on the table better than we currently are.

I find it funny when people fail to notice that the Civic Si now weighs in at the old Prelude Si's weight. (Or a first gen small block Camaro, even) I used to think, 'hell, man, almost 3000 pounds, why bother with a front driver at that point'. The 'microcar' segment now weigh hundreds of pounds more than my SE-R Classic did. A 'midsize' Taurus nowadays dwarfs my old school land yacht. Maybe 4000lbs and 5.7 liters isn't so big and thirsty after all, and maybe everything in the automotive world isn't what the sales brochure says it is. Maybe the 'Smart' car isn't so much. I've even seen the one thing a Smart car actually has an advantage with fail - the 'just back up to the curb' parking 'ability'. Which is fine until LAPD tickets you anyway. Legal or not.

Who doesn't need a slow, expensive car that seats only two and has almost zero cargo room? Raise your hands. Woah, that's a lot of people.

Now there are 'smart' just about everything, from laptops to lattes to, of course, cars. I couldn't help but feel a little intelligent myself, passing mister 'C Smarty' like he was standing still in a car that cost me a whole 833 dollars to procure. 200 bucks worth of Craigslist 15x6.5s with Toyos and a 25 dollar CARB approved CAI later, I had a car that got 30mpg while driving like a lunatic all day, more cargo room than the Smart car, and vastly faster acceleration for less than the insurance cost of the 'Smart' car. No manufacturing costs like in a new car either (auto factories don't run on rainbows, people), if you're concerned with the environmental impact, and the engine was smog compliant and new enough to be clean but old enough to be cheap. The Goldilocks Zone, where any astronomer will tell you, Life occurs.

Ok, so the car wasn't a show winner for 833 bucks, but still, the
'angel choir' effect is appropriate when you consider the
automotive heaven offered compared to a Fart...er, Smart Car.

Then I sold the Si for 1500 bucks with less than that in it with all parts accounted for, bought the Roadie for 1000 bucks ('gas guzzler' the guy complained, and I just nodded and signed the paperwork. Compared to what?), and after returning from NOLA, was backed into. After getting paid for the minor (but major looking) dent in the quarter panel and having enough blue book value to not total out, I was paid 1450 bucks to fix a dent I just pushed out and maybe might sic a paintless dent guy on for a few hundred. I now have negative dollars into this car; I've essentially been paid to take it. I wonder if Grassroots Motorsports magazine would recognize that for the $2012 Challenge....however, the idea of spending 400 bucks for some serious rubber and a few hundred to fix the few remaining weak areas of the chassis (the tow pack afforded 2.93 gears and a limited slip, and the Gran Touring suspension is as close to Impala SS spec as was offered in the Roadmaster line) doesn't seem like much.

Pictured: "I'll pay you 450 bucks to take me home."
Now tell me your Elantra was a really good value.

That's what this blog is about - doing it the right way, even if you don't have much to work with. Having a 260hp pimpmobile daily driver that gets decent mileage, runs 15s, and was so cheap I'd have to spend money to break even on it? That's win, folks. That's doing it right. Being able to head to an autocross course later with 'grandpa's car' and turning heads amongst the import snobs and pony car guys alike? Also win.

Grampa Car - if your Gramps was Chuck Lidell. 

Doing it wrong was like my SE-R; 1400 bucks to buy an 'economical' car that ballooned to 5000 bucks for a car with just a cheap ass set of coilovers on it and a half finished motor swap (the 'unbreakable' SR20DE ended up with a rod knock the night I burned up the Suffolk County back roads after weeks of dialing in shocks, race shop alignment, etc...); luckily I sold the whole basket case for 2000 bucks. I could have easily been forced by circumstance to sell it for less if I hadn't been so lucky. All for a 2.0l NA four cylinder with a K&N filter on it. Doesn't sound so 'win' does it?

Pictured: Fail. No, really. Also, an e-brake drag on fresh concrete.
I was a really, really bad security guard. I was supposed to
be getting paid to keep this very thing from happening.

Fair warning; some rants may have this War and Peace-esque length, many will not; however, I'm sick and tired myself of the Twitter level of depth available on most blogs; the code to embed the photos they use in many cases has more text than the blog entry itself. I won't assume you to be some ADD addled illiterati who need a shiny object and small sound bytes, although I'm sure to get a few 'TL:DR' responses from that crowd, no doubt.

Maybe the auto world doesn't need another uppity, long winded blogger, but they're getting one, and perhaps I can offer a unique enough perspective to justify my salt. We'll see. I think that there's thinking you're smart, and actually being smart, and oftentimes they're not quite the same thing, and don't occur at the same time. I like the idea of cultivating effectiveness, and if someday your automotive horizons widen, the experience is just as valuable - perhaps more so. I'm embarrassed by losing 3 grand on a car I enjoyed owning thoroughly, I can't imagine being more ok with such a situation if you added some more zeros to that figure.

Fear not folks: I have some good things in store. A teaser of what's to come....